Relationships are definitely hard work, but should not be draining. I know first hand what a drunk in love relationship feels like. I will obviously be speaking from the female perspective, but I am sure that guys deal with similar issues.
It's easy to look from the outside and think "that girl is so stupid for staying with him," but until you are in her shoes you don't know the real reason. When you are in so deep into the relationship you can't think rationally. Think of it as being "drunk in love." When you are drunk you do stupid thinks and wake up and wonder why the heck you did it. At the time, it seemed like the best thing to do. It is the exact same when in a drunk relationship; it seems like the right thing to do at the time.
You wouldn't yell at your drunk friend to stop acting like an idiot, you would take care of them and tell them in the morning. The same goes for friends who are drunk in love. You can tell them over and over again to leave him, but it goes in one ear and out the other. The best thing you can do is be a good friend and be there when she sobers up. That is not to say you shouldn't voice your concerns with her about her boyfriend, but do it in a way that is easy for her to understand. (Obviously, if the relationship is abusive that is a whole other story and you should absolutely get involved.)
I really don't think that most girls understand that they are in a drunk relationship until it is too late. I had no idea my relationship was as unhealthy as it was until I hit absolute rock bottom. I didn't know that it wasn't normal to be anxious constantly--wondering if my boyfriend was cheating on me. Stressing out trying to come up with ways to make him love me more and not leave me. It was a nasty whirlwind of hurt and me trying to patch everything back together. That isn't healthy, but I know exactly why I stayed.
The moral of the story is to be careful when entering a relationship. Make sure you are strong and know who you are so you don't get sucked into someone else's whirlwind.
Drink and date responsibly... no one likes a hangover.
