Hey Homegirl,

Today as I was walking to class I wanted to run away. Literally, in my head, I had a vision of me getting in my car and just driving. I would drop my book bag right in front of Kuhn, run to my car, turn up some Ben Rector radio, drive with the window down and sip on a chick-fila lemonade. Obviously, that would be kinda awkward if I did that, but lol if my peers on campus knew my reason behind it, they would probably cheer me on.

(Quick Converse plug: Go to Converse College, because your classmates are your sisters and they're literally cheering you on the entire way.)

I didn't drop my book bag, skip class, and forget about my jobs. I walked to class with a knot in my stomach. I don't really know how to explain the feeling, but I know you know what I'm talking about. LIFE GOT TO ME. I plan my day out so strategically. For goodness sakes, I plan how long I'm gonna eat. I love schedules, though. I love making them and I love following them. I love planning and knowing exactly what I'm doing. Lol, but God literally wrecks my plans most of the time so I don't know why I keep making schedules and plans hahaha. Specifically today I felt God tenderly whispering in my ear.....

I plan my life so much that today I could not handle the robotic schedule I was on. I wanted to break free. Thankfully we serve a God that says "I got this." But let's be honest ladies that doesn't take away from us feeling like our life will fall apart if we don't do our duties and follow our schedule.

After forcing myself to go to class, my campus job, and my other job I didn't think much of my schedule. I came home and literally laid in my bed. At about 9:30 one of my best friends called me. She just wanted to vent and get some advice and ironically it was about maintaining a schedule and making time for everyone in her life without feeling so drained. God's funny, isn't He?

I'm not an expert. I know a lot of you think my life looks good. I go to class (most of the time), get my assignments done on time, I look decent, I make good grades, I got a HOT bf, I volunteer in my community, I go to bible study, work two jobs, and still hang out with my friends. THAT'S WHAT YOU SEE.

But really....

You don't see me sob my eyes out at the red light because I'm so tired and I know I haven't even finished half of what's on my schedule.

You don't see me when I look in the mirror.

You don't see me when I get anxious about my next test.

You don't hear me scream at God.

You don't hear me on the way to class repeating to myself to just hang on.

You don't see me come home to my family and have a bad attitude or just cry because I don't want to continue life.

HANG ON SISTER, because I know what your feeling.

This is what I leave you with....

1. Cling to your heavenly Father. I don't know how I would take my next breath if it wasn't for the love of my Father. "Give your burdens to the Lord, and He will take care of you." Psalm 55:22

2. Schedules aren't bad but don't schedule your life around your schedule. Make time for yourself. Make time for the things that once made you happy.

3. Surround yourself with people who love you, because you need people to remind you that this life is worth living.

4. Go with the flow. I know that breaks all the schedule rules, but whenever you have the opportunity to go with the flow... do it. Thankfully God gave me a boyfriend that's life motto is "just go with the flow," literally.

5. Eat good food, listen to some good music, and get outside.

I love you, sister. I can't tell you enough to just keep hanging out. You can do this. You were made for this very moment.

P.S.... I'm always up to talking, getting coffee, dinner, or whatever. I know sometimes you just need another human. I gotchu girl.