I've thought about the topic of anger often because it's something that I really struggle with. I often find myself getting frustrated with other people and that frustration manifests itself in an angry confrontation or passive-aggressive behavior. I particularly struggle with how independent I am. I love to do my own thing, and I don't like other people telling me what to do or asking me what I'm doing at a particular moment. I guess you could say that being accountable to someone else really scares me. On TV couples almost always get along and if they do fight it's resolved quickly.
I've heard it said that at first, you have a spark in your eye for each other but later on sparks fly in the form of animated debate. The latter statement is reality. We're going to get angry with the people we're closest with. If we didn't have arguments that would mean that we're not voicing our opinion and instead just blindly agreeing with the other person. But God has given us the freedom to make our own choices and have our own thoughts and opinions. But we shouldn't be so quick to direct our anger outward. Instead, the Bible instructs us to take a different approach.
Psalm 4:4 says, "Don't sin by letting anger control you. Think about it overnight and remain silent."
We should direct our anger inward instead so that we can process what happened and pray about what to do. I often skip the processing and the prayer and go right to confronting the person I'm angry with. Which will usually result in a bigger argument and after which you won't be able to come to an agreement. Self-control is extremely important in these situations, especially when you feel like someone has wronged you. The best way to handle anger is to exercise self-control, in the moment. Take a step back and think about where snapping at this person will get you. The answer is probably nowhere. Then go before God in prayer and ask Him what to do. He has all the answers, and if we seek his counsel, He is faithful to give us an answer.
You can't expect a perfect relationship so you should expect that you will get angry with the other person. You can't control what someone else does. But you can control how you react to it. Resist the urge to respond immediately in anger and instead step away from the situation and reflect on what to do. The result will be a productive conversation instead of a meaningless argument.
