The blaring of my alarm clock dragged me out of my peaceful slumber, signaling the start of a new day. Lazily, I rolled out of bed, stretching my arms over my head and stumbling toward my closet. As I combed through my clothes looking for the right outfit, I caught a glimpse of my reflection in the mirror and my breath caught in my throat. Staring back at me from the glass was a beach ball with legs — at least, that is what I saw. I turned to face myself in the mirror and pulled up my T-shirt to expose my stomach. A strangled sob escaped my throat as I poked my abdomen, positive that it was larger than the day before. I ran my fingers through my tangled hair and sighed, realizing that today was going to be a "fat day."
These days were no stranger to me; in fact, I had grown accustomed to loathing my reflection in the mirror. One day, however, I decided that I would not let a "fat day" banish me to T-shirts and sweatpants. I learned how to survive fat days, and eventually taught myself how to love myself enough to have less of them.
Despite my instinct to don baggy clothing, I knew that the first step to surviving a fat day was to wear something that made me feel good about myself. Combing through my closet, I finally selected a black and pink flowered romper with an open back. Once I was dressed, I turned my attention to my makeup. The secret to making yourself feel confident is looking like the best version of yourself, no matter what that may be. In my case, I liked to achieve the perfect winged eyeliner for a fierce look. Satisfied with my carefully black-rimmed eyes, I pulled on my favorite sandals and strutted outside, ready to face the day.
Now, that is not to say that a negative body image can be erased that easily. I was still hypersensitive of my thighs brushing together, of the feeling of fabric against my skin and of the zit on my forehead that seemed to have magically emerged overnight. Negative thoughts began to creep in, but I shoved them out with a song. As I walked to class, I put in my headphones and turned on Formation from Beyoncé's new album: "Lemonade." The song made me feel instantly more seductive and confident, and I even felt a smile dance across my lips.
Most importantly, it is imperative for me to keep myself busy with others. Being with friends, helping out at a food pantry or even assisting my mother with weeding the garden are all ways to avoid obsessing about the parts of my body that I do not like. Staying away from mirrors or dressing rooms is also important because it can make the day worse. Above all, I find that being alone is the quickest way to exacerbating my problem. Staying with friends, family, or even being at work can ward off intrusive thoughts.
Now, I will not lie and tell you that it always works. There are moments when the jiggling of my thighs makes my lips tremble with sadness, and I hide my body in shame under sweatshirts, but developing coping techniques for "fat days" has helped me to continue with my life, and subsequently has allowed me experience fewer "fat days." Women, and men, deserve to love their bodies all the time, but for the days that it is challenging, it is important to have a routine to get through and realize just how beautiful you are.
