Losing a parent is never easy, especially if you were close to them. You look to them for all your advice on life. You get angry with them if they do something totally unreasonable, like ground you or something. They tend to get on your nerves sometimes. But you know the age-old saying, "You never know what you have until it's gone." So, appreciate your parents while you have them.
Nine years ago, my dad passed away almost suddenly. I don't want to go into the details because it is much more depressing than what I'm about to write. The only thing I'll say for now is that four days before he passed was the very last day we saw him alive. None of us knew that he would be gone then.
The funeral wasn't even until 3 weeks later because he was all the way in another state. The entire month of January 2009 was a nightmare that I kept wanting to wake up from, but the more time went by, the more reality started to sink in: my father was gone. Long gone and never coming back.
But why?! I was only 14 years old and a freshman in high school. It felt like a huge part of my life was just taken away from me so quickly. While I continued to go to school and do what I had to since I wasn't even trying to be held back a year, I felt like everything just ended. All I wanted to do was sit alone in an empty white room and not be bothered for a very long time.
Really thinking about it, I realized he wouldn't be able to see me go to my prom (it was horrible anyway so he was spared nonetheless), he wouldn't see me graduate high school and turn 18 the next day, and he won't see me finally graduate from college. As a kid, I always said I would be devastated if I lost either one of my parents because I love them both so much and equally. I just didn't think it would actually happen so soon.
I'm about to be 24 this year. I can't believe this either because I still don't even feel 21! It's really hard to believe it's been almost a decade since my father died. How did this happen? I really managed to make it through nine whole years without him? Don't ask me how I did it because so much time has passed I guess I didn't even think about it. It's actually pretty remarkable.
I went to a lot of concerts, started living on my own, and doing all of these great things and taking more risks. I always say I didn't think I would make it this far, but given these circumstances, I genuinely didn't think I would. I'm proud of myself for persevering despite this tragedy.
To anyone who ever meets me and learns this fact about me, all I ask is that you please don't throw me a pity party. Yes, it's sad that my father passed away. Yes, I still get sad about it sometimes. Heck, you would too if you lost a relative you were pretty close to. But am I gonna let this get me down any longer? No. I got a life to live that would make even my most distant ancestors proud!
It doesn't get any easier dealing with the death of someone close to you... but it does get better and the sun still shines!
