When your best friend's Haitian, you spend a lot of time at their place. Over time, you realize that there are some things that are specific to a Haitian household and just don't apply anywhere else. Shoutout to my best friend and my second family, and cheers to the unique quirks of the Haitian home!
1. Mommy or Tati make you eat every time you come, even if you're not hungry.
2. The beds are beaten to dust them off.
3. There's soup joumou (pumpkin soup) on New Year's.
4. Every time you come, they invite you to stay over.
5. All pasta is "macaroni" and all meat is "chicken."
6. Rice and sauce pois are part of every meal.
7. The spread for holidays and birthdays rivals Thanksgiving dinner.
8. Beer is poured over the birthday boy's head!
9. There's Kreyol gospel music playing on the radio Sunday morning.
10. Sometimes you hum along.
11. Once you've been there long enough (and seen enough), nudity eventually stops being awkward.
12. The spaghetti has hot dogs in it. Sometimes the macaroni too!
13. You pretend to follow Kreyol conversations when you're in the room, even though it's more like a dog watching from outside the window.
14. You laugh when they laugh anyway.
15. They ask and you finally have to admit you have no idea what you're laughing at and someone explains the joke to you. Or not.
16. If you're a girl, the family refuses to let you leave after a certain time unless you have a ride.
17. You call the parents Mom and Dad. And you're scared of them.
18. Mom is always talking about fattening you up. When you're skinny, "trés mal"—when you're thicker, you're "belle."
The minimum wage is not a living wage.
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