Jesus is so good. Throughout the last week, I've been realizing just how good He is. Financial situations have been fixed, the sweetest Arvest employee dealt with my sassy self when my card was stolen...again, some of my favorite people celebrated my birthday with me, and I've got some great new friends. This year is a brand new season for me. I am free from being tied down in a relationship that is toxic. I am trying new things. I am not regretting anything. And it has been an amazing experience so far.
I am learning that God speaks to me through conversations. Text conversations, in person conversations, phone calls, etc. That's when I hear His voice. I don't think I realized this until the other day. I was sitting at a local coffee shop with my best friend one evening when another dear friend of mine Facebook messaged me to get my number. She text me and talked about the Rez in South Dakota that we have both been to. Then somewhere along the way, Jesus was doing His thing and speaking to both of us. Through this conversation, I learned that my tears when I cry are literal prayers. I don't have to speak in tongues or speak at all to talk to God. I am emotional. I cry a lot. Just ask anyone who knows me. They'll agree with me. I know that God sees me and personally cares for me and that He hears me all the time, but I never made the connection that He hears and sees my tears. He accepts them as my prayer. I weep for my Native people. I weep for the situation going on with the Dakota Access Pipeline. I weep when I'm excited. I weep at everything. God hears me. He sees me. These are my prayers, and I'm blown away at this connection.
I reunited with my mission team the other night. Well, only half of my team. We were just laughing and hanging out when somehow we got on the subject of financial issues. We were taking stories telling how God provided for us this summer. Whether it had to do with returning to ORU or transportation or anything really. I could just hear God telling me, "Shelby, look at what I have done. Do you believe that I am good?" I am in awe.
I will be 20 in less than a week. I've learned more about how good God is in the last week than I have in the last 20 years. This past week has been a rough one. My heart broke with news I received about the sister of a little girl that I met in South Dakota. I have been dealing with a situation that I'm struggling to fix. I have worried about my financial needs. There's been so much stress and worry. But in the midst of all of this, I am free. God is good, and He is showing me this.