Confrontation is something we tend to shy away from.
It’s easier to stay put, to stay silent, and to move on.
But there’s this fine line we dance on, where confrontation and wanting to fix people rest on one side, and letting things be rests on the other. It’s an interesting paradox, deciding which side best defines our personalities and actions.
Last week, I was at the gym with some friends, learning how to do some different exercises.
About twenty minutes in, a young adult who was intensely watching us briskly walked over, and started to correct our form. He started yelling across the machines, and walked from one end of the room to the other, clearly frustrated with how unknowing and clueless we apparently were. He then moved from yelling to mild cursing. He stared and talked to us as if we were incompetent, and concluded his scene with a grand finale of shoving his personal belongings in his hand and marching off.
We were kind of wordless. I’ve left out the person’s name and exact words, because identifying the stranger isn’t necessary. What is necessary is highlighting the irrationality behind his actions.
About ten seconds after he marched off, I danced on a fine line, not knowing whether to let the situation go, or to chase after him and figure out his intentions. I ended up choosing the latter.
When I approached him at the front desk, I found him complaining to a worker about how clueless the gym members are. I went up to him, and the first thing I mentioned was how appreciative we were that he cared so much for our well-being.
I then proceeded to hear him out, and then told him my side afterwards. I spoke up and informed him that there was a better way to correct us. There was a better way to conduct himself in a public setting with children in the next room, and there was a better and mature way to handle the whole situation.
See, this story itself seems silly. I find it amusing looking back.
But what’s not amusing is being disrespected by any person, stranger or not.
It’s not amusing to feel somewhat threatened for trying something new in a gym. I don’t know if we were disrespected for our gender, race, or actions. I don’t think it would have mattered if I had found out.
Personally, I don’t believe I can single-handedly change the whole world and make it perfect. But what I do have the power to do is improve what happens to me and to those around me.
In my opinion, that’s what confrontation has the potential to do. It has the power to make small changes that can open other people’s eyes, and make things a little bit better.
