Should I text him? The words echo in your head as you lay in bed contemplating your next move.

Nah, I'll just wait. You get up and decide to do something more productive to get your mind off of him. Twenty minutes later you're back to your phone.

Maybe one message wouldn't hurt. What do I even say? You write and rewrite about twenty different responses but end up erasing every single one.

Whatever, I'll just talk to him tomorrow.

If you haven't done the steps above before, then you're probably lying to yourself. Let's talk about why the texting stereotypes shouldn't matter, specifically the one that says you and your I-think-I-might-actually-like-you guy should be texting every day.

There’s this constant pressure put on guys to text girls first; is it really justified? I don’t know, maybe you could argue this one with me, but it’s kind of ridiculous when you think about it. So why doesn’t the girl just text him? Power to ya, cause I’m sure you’ve texted a guy you’ve liked before just because you felt like it. There’s nothing wrong with that, and neither is there anything wrong with having him text you first, so where is the problem here?

The problem lies in the fact that one of you is going to start expecting it. And when you keep it up for so long and then all of a sudden it goes away, you immediately start to panic and think, “What went wrong?”

Uh, nothing. Let’s be honest: texting requires effort and effort is attractive, but you know what is more attractive? Getting a text from a guy after not talking over the weekend and having him ask you out on a nice date. I mean, that’s way better than getting a text from a guy you’ve been talking to every day that says, “hey.”

Guys, here’s the thing: I’m a busy woman, and I don’t expect you to talk to me every single day. Especially if I literally just saw you yesterday and we had a meaningful two-hour discussion about what we wanted to do with our lives. It’s okay because we shared the important stuff in person, not over some silly text message. Of course, I’m talking about the “getting to know you” stage because nothing makes a guy want to run in the other direction than a girl he likes that is all over texting him 24/7.

Girls, here’s the thing: I get it. You like this guy, and he’s great, but he ain’t your world. In the meantime, you should be pursuing the things that set your soul on fire. You’ll be happy doing these things no matter what, they will always be there for you. I find that whenever I do what’s good for my soul, I bring such a bright, positive energy into my relationships. Find out what’s good for your soul and do that, it’s way more important than any text you’ll ever send.

In the case that you do feel like sending me a text (or maybe a novel, who knows) then go for it. Want to check in and see how my day is going? Sure, I don’t mind. Just know that I’m not forcing you to. I have a lot going for me, and I’m happy that you want to be a part of my life. I’m confident that if it’s meant to be, we’ll know for reasons other than the time of the last text one of us sent.