Sure, Some Guys Are Jerks, But That Doesn't Automatically Make Them Abusive | The Odyssey Online
Start writing a post
Politics and Activism

Sure, Some Guys Are Jerks, But That Doesn't Automatically Make Them Abusive

Trying to find the line between "abuser" and "jerk."

545
Sure, Some Guys Are Jerks, But That Doesn't Automatically Make Them Abusive
Instagram: @brckhmptn

Sexual assault is an issue that has been making headlines in mainstream news for the past couple of years. I've written endlessly about different figures and ramifications of sexual assault cases; like Harvey Weinstein, James Franco, and many others. I openly condemn sexual assault (and any decent person should). There is also a lot of news surrounding men that are being abusive, both mentally and physically.

We all remember the abusive relationships revolving around Rihanna and Chris Brown, Bobby and Whitney, Ray Rice, and recently the former Attorney General of New York, Eric Schneiderman. Abuse and assault is a blight on our country, but I have to question where the line is drawn on some of these issues.

Last week, allegations came out against Ameer Vann, a member of the rap group/boyband BROCKHAMPTON, saying that he had mentally abused (and possibly sexually abused) some of his ex-girlfriends. There are also allegations that he is involved in pedophilia.

On the surface, all of this sounds damnable. On closer inspection, Ameer Vann seems like an insufferable douchebag, but I'm not fully convinced that he is a pedophile or an abuser.

The majority of these allegations are coming from a girl named Rhett Rowan, an ex of Ameer's, in a live video she made. Other allegations have come out from girls that were loosely connected to Ameers friend group or were in loose relationships with him.

First, one of the girls that had a loose relationship with Ameer, named Gigi, claims that Ameer cheated on her around 2014 with a high school student. She reiterated in her tweets that this girl was a minor, but never released the age of the girl. If the timeline is correct, Ameer would have been 18.

I'm not trying to make concessions for Ameer, but there if he was around 18 at the time and had sex with a girl that was about two years younger than him, I don't see much wrong with that. The age of consent varies in a lot of states, and unless this girl was extremely young, I don't see how it's so different from a 21-year-old dating an 18-year-old.

In Rhett Rowan's livestream, she talks about how Ameer would yell at her on occasion for simple mistakes like going to the wrong terminal in the airport or washing his dishes with cold water. She also talks about how she posted a picture of bruises she had as a result of rough sex with Ameer. As far as Rhett lets on, the rough sex was consensual, it wasn't linked to a form of abuse, but she still says she wasn't happy with having bruises from sex.

The allegation that has the most backing is all the girls involved saying that Ameer made them feel guilty or possibly manipulated them. All of the girls, besides Rhett, were vague in their characterizations of Ameer being a manipulator. Ameer has also come out with an apology to these girls, denied being a pedophile, and doesn't try to deny that he knows/dated these girls. The lowest common denominator that arose from this mess was that Ameer was a serial cheater (and probably still is).

I say all of this so that I can go back to my initial question. What is the line between a man being an abuser, or just being a total jerk?

Some men are total asses. We all know guys that are terrible people. The guy that cheats on every girlfriend he has, the guy that doesn't appreciate his girlfriend like he should, the guy that likes bragging about how much sex he's had with countless girls, the guy that thinks women are the weaker sex.

Those guys are general douchebags, but that doesn't mean that they are abusers or pedophiles.

I ask this question because I honestly would like to know what the line is. I don't like the types of guys that I listed above, but I don't think that these men need to put with the ranks of Harvey Weinstein or Bill Cosby. No one should have to be in a relationship with a jerk, but sometimes you pick the wrong person to be with. I'm not saying that Ameer wasn't potentially abusive, or a pedophile, but the facts, as they are right now, point to him just being a run-of-the-mill dick.

I harp on this subject so much because, in the age of the internet, allegations are a slippery slope for both parties, and allegations are hard to erase. Social justice is one of the biggest justice systems right now, and social justice doesn't wear a blindfold. Social justice is always rigged in someone's favor, and that isn't how justice is supposed to be implemented. I don't defend Ameer at all, but I really want us to draw a definitive line so that a potentially innocent person isn't labeled as a pedophile.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Featured

15 Mind-Bending Riddles

Hopefully they will make you laugh.

190043
 Ilistrated image of the planet and images of questions
StableDiffusion

I've been super busy lately with school work, studying, etc. Besides the fact that I do nothing but AP chemistry and AP economics, I constantly think of stupid questions that are almost impossible to answer. So, maybe you could answer them for me, and if not then we can both wonder what the answers to these 15 questions could be.

Keep Reading...Show less
Entertainment

Most Epic Aurora Borealis Photos: October 2024

As if May wasn't enough, a truly spectacular Northern Lights show lit up the sky on Oct. 10, 2024

14794
stunning aurora borealis display over a forest of trees and lake
StableDiffusion

From sea to shining sea, the United States was uniquely positioned for an incredible Aurora Borealis display on Thursday, Oct. 10, 2024, going into Friday, Oct. 11.

It was the second time this year after an historic geomagnetic storm in May 2024. Those Northern Lights were visible in Europe and North America, just like this latest rendition.

Keep Reading...Show less
 silhouette of a woman on the beach at sunrise
StableDiffusion

Content warning: This article contains descriptions of suicide/suicidal thoughts.

When you are feeling down, please know that there are many reasons to keep living.

Keep Reading...Show less
Relationships

Power of Love Letters

I don't think I say it enough...

457775
Illistrated image of a letter with 2 red hearts
StableDiffusion

To My Loving Boyfriend,

  • Thank you for all that you do for me
  • Thank you for working through disagreements with me
  • Thank you for always supporting me
  • I appreciate you more than words can express
  • You have helped me grow and become a better person
  • I can't wait to see where life takes us next
  • I promise to cherish every moment with you
  • Thank you for being my best friend and confidante
  • I love you and everything you do

To start off, here's something I don't say nearly enough: thank you. Thank you, thank you, thank you from the bottom of my heart. You do so much for me that I can't even put into words how much I appreciate everything you do - and have done - for me over the course of our relationship so far. While every couple has their fair share of tiffs and disagreements, thank you for getting through all of them with me and making us a better couple at the other end. With any argument, we don't just throw in the towel and say we're done, but we work towards a solution that puts us in a greater place each day. Thank you for always working with me and never giving up on us.

Keep Reading...Show less
Lifestyle

11 Signs You Grew Up In Hauppauge, NY

Because no one ever really leaves.

26586
Map of Hauppauge, New York
Google

Ah, yes, good old Hauppauge. We are that town in the dead center of Long Island that barely anyone knows how to pronounce unless they're from the town itself or live in a nearby area. Hauppauge is home to people of all kinds. We always have new families joining the community but honestly, the majority of the town is filled with people who never leave (high school alumni) and elders who have raised their kids here. Around the town, there are some just some landmarks and places that only the people of Hauppauge will ever understand the importance or even the annoyance of.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments