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To The Guy With A Girlfriend

"Let's just start by saying, you suck."

Kortney Hall

Oct 12, 2022

Georgia Southern University

10044

Pexels

Let's just start by saying, you suck.

You suck for being a sucky boyfriend first and for most.

Just because I came before her doesn't give you an excuse.

You can't have your cake and eat it to.

Because of you, I know exactly who your girlfriend is or was. Mainly, because I have to look at her page to see if you're lying about your most recent break up. She is pretty, and skinny, and I envy her in every way. I envy her, because she has you, but you're so awful to her.

I know I shouldn't entertain you, but no one sees my side. They don't know how much you beg me, and pinky promise that you are single. Then I end up caving in, because I have feelings too. Just in time, for you guys to work everything out, and get back together: if you were ever even broken up at all.

It's just like clock work. As soon, as I fill the void that you left, you start trying to come back.

I get that it shouldn't be hard to ignore you, but it is. I haven't built my wall high enough just yet to keep you out. I shouldn't have to avoid someone I am so completely invested in, because I'm not their main priority. I'm not sure yet why I wasn't enough for you but I am constantly reminded of it rather it be your cute post about your appreciation and "love" for her or running into the both of you out at the bars. You're someone I can't hide from in this small town no matter how hard I try.

But from here on out, I hope you guys live a happy life. I pray that one day you become the amazing man she sees you as now. I hope you live up to every standard she thinks you're fulfilling already. I hope she never has to see the side of you that I have these past few months.

I truly hope you the best with or without her.

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To The Guy With A Girlfriend

"Let's just start by saying, you suck."

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All names should be "unisex names."

1. Communicating via email can be awkward.

2. Appointments usually accompany weird looks.

3. Introducing yourself to someone is never without a hitch.

4. You’ve probably thought about changing your name.

5. You’re often asked why you have the name you do.

6. You get excited when you meet someone of your gender with your name.

7. You feel awkward when you meet someone of the opposite gender with your name.

8. You’ve had someone say to you, “I knew a [your name], but they were [your opposite gender].”

9. You’ve heard a bad joke/pick-up line or two about your name before.

10. People are surprised when they see you.

11. You’re extra sensitive to other unique or unisex names.

12. You’ve fought with your parents about it.

13. All things considered, you’re happy your name makes you unique.

You know that all of these things apply to you. You'll just never tell.

I get it... I'm pale.

1. At least I can't lose you in a crowd!

2. Oh my goodness your skin is like glow-in-the-dark.

3. Can't you just get fake tan?

4. Do you tan or just burn?

5. Your kids are going to look like Casper the Friendly Ghost!

6. *holds arm against your arm* Look how much darker I am compared to you!

7. *holds pale arm against another pale arm* Aw, at least you're darker than her!

8. I laid out by the pool almost every day over break!

9. I haven't used sunscreen since I was, like, five.

10. *adjusts selfie lighting to their face* Oops, where'd you go??

11. *after working out* Your face is SO red!

12. *wears white* Look! You're all one color!

13. You need to get some sun.

14. Aren't you excited for summer?

The struggle bus is real.

1. Child prodigies:

2. Hearing other musicians in the practice room next door and accepting that you will never be as talented as them:

3. That anxiety that takes over before every performance:

4. Taking a million 0 credit classes:

5. When there's a paper due the next day, but you have to attend yet another concert in order to pass a 0 credit class:

6. When your friends try to encourage you after a performance, even though you are criticizing everything in your mind:

7. Knowing that there's always that one professor during juries:

8. The oh-so-attractive band/choir uniforms:

9. Realizing that a college campus is maybe not the best atmosphere to finish your latest composition:

10. Hearing "Oh, you sing opera? I LOVE Phantom of the Opera!" for the hundredth time:

11. When people think finals week is a breeze for you.

12. When you're drowning in the stress that comes with 18+ credits (and not to mention all those 0 credit classes) and people ask you how you are:

13. When it all comes down to it, though, you know that at the end of the day, music is your passion:

We don't buy into these... just like how we don't buy our friends.

8. "The whole philanthropy thing isn't real, right?"

7. "I don't need to buy my friends."

6. "Oh, so I'll bet you love to drink."

5. "Can you tell me some of your secrets?"

4. "What do you do at your meetings?"

3. "Do you guys haze really badly?"

2. "Is it just like in the movies?"

1. "Sororities are so basic."

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6. holds arm against your arm Look how much darker I am compared to you!

7. holds pale arm against another pale arm Aw, at least you're darker than her!

10. adjusts selfie lighting to their face Oops, where'd you go??

11. after working out Your face is SO red!

12. wears white Look! You're all one color!