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To The Guy Who Broke My Best Friend's Heart

Don't say that you're sorry, 'cuz your not

Nicole Tobias

Dec 20, 2016

Waynesburg University

To The Guy Who Broke My Best Friend's Heart

Google

I am so sorry for your loss.

I am so sorry that you will never find a girl that will ever compare to my best friend. I mean, how can anyone else compare to her beautiful, kind, loving, and giving heart?

I am so sorry that you went back to your ex-girlfriend. Was it worth putting a girl who loved you through so much trouble just for you to use her as a rebound from your ex?

I am so sorry that you haven't developed into a man yet. Do you really think my best friend is only worth an "apology" via text?

I am so sorry that I live so far away from you. This is beneficial to you, because if you lived closer, I would make you cry just as you made her cry.

I am so sorry that you don't know how to handle a real woman. Because an ex that hacks your social media accounts and phone to impersonate you is more of a woman than the girl who bought a plane ticket to see you over winter break, right?

I am so sorry that you neglected a girl who brings so much happiness to everyone's lives. I guess you don't enjoy being happy.

I am so sorry that you messed with me by hurting my best friend. Just because I'm a nice, innocent-looking girl doesn't mean I won't exploit people for their wrongdoing.

I am so sorry you decided to blow your opportunity of being with a girl who only comes around once in a lifetime. Thank you for blowing your chance with her, so a real man who genuinely does love and care for her has the opportunity to fill the role that you couldn't.

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To The Guy Who Broke My Best Friend's Heart

Don't say that you're sorry, 'cuz your not

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This isn't just for the single Pringles out there either, folks

Run Around Clanging Pots and Pans in Everyone's Face

Eat the Last Few Pigs in a Blanket

Pop Twelve White Grapes

Burn Something

Smash Things Against a Wall

Spontaneously Begin an Irish Jig

Call Your Mother

Throw a Coffee Table Out a Window

Sing "Auld Lang Syne" at the Top of Your Lungs

Do Some Squats

Swan Dive into a Nearly Freezing Body of Water

Take a Shot

Time to be merry and bright.

"First Noel" by Leslie Odom, Jr

"A Holly Jolly Christmas" by Burl Ives

"Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas" by Kelly Clarkson

"All I Want for Christmas Is You" by Mariah Carey

"Christmas (Baby Please Come Home" by Michael Buble

"Last Christmas" by Taylor Swift

"The Christmas Song" by Josh Groban

"White Christmas" by Idina Menzel

"O Holy Night" by David Archuleta

"Believe" by Josh Groban

"Les cloches du hameau" by Celine Dion

Or at least try to do.

1. I will wake up (sorta) on time for class.

2. I will look decent for class.

3. I will go to the gym more.

4. I will go to the library and study more.

5. I will meet new people.

For those long nights that turn into mornings when the struggle is real.

1. Walk in motivated and ready to rock

2. Disappointed you let it get this bad

3. Distracted: When a 10-Minute Break Becomes an Hour

4. When the Yearning for Sleep Sneaks Up

5. In the words of Lorelai Gilmore "Coffee, Coffee, Coffee"

Oh, so done.

You need sleep, but also have 13 things due in the span of 4 days.

1. When it's December 1 and you have seven things due, three exams, and haven't slept in three days.

2. So you stress.

3. And cry.

4. Then call your mom to cry some more.

5. After the pep talk, you feel determined to get everything done.

6. But, now you're tired.

7. And really hungry.

8. Suddenly, it's 2 a.m. and you have only written three sentences and your paper is due in the morning.

9. You've made it to Friday... somehow.

10. Then Sunday hits and you find yourself back at the Lib.

11. So you cry some more.

12. But, you fight through the tears to get everything done because you're determined.

13. In the end, you feel on top of the world because you made it through the last week of class alive.

14. But, now it's finals week so good luck.

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