Dear the guy who I thought I would spend the rest of my life with,
No, this is not a hate letter. I do not hate you, but there are a few things I would like for you to know. I have learned so much about myself since you have been gone. I never realized how much of my life was spent trying to make you happy until I had to figure out what actually made me happy. For years I thought it was you that made me happy. Never again will I allow another person to define my happiness. I have learned who my true friends are. They are the ones that are still around after I shut them out for so long. You should have gotten to know them, because I know you would have liked them if you had given them a chance. I have learned how to make new friends. I have learned the magic of being alone. I am disappointed with myself. I missed out on so much these past few years. I went to my first ‘college party’ the other day and told my friend, “so this is what college is like.” Even though my comment was meant to be funny, I hate that I allowed someone to tell me I could not go. I do miss you. I see our favorite places to eat, or where you asked me to be your girlfriend, or where you told me we were going to get married, and it hurts. I wish I never made plans with you. We got so wrapped up in our plans, and forgot to really love one another. I not only lost the person I called my best friend, but I also lost those plans. That may sound silly and immature, but those plans were why I never left. Now, I will never make my own plans, and realize God has bigger ones. I believed in you, over and over and over. I thought things would change, but I really do not think people can ever fully change. I do not think that you were a waste of time. I learned so much about relationships, how someone should treat someone they love, how I could improve in my next relationship, and about forgiveness. I am thankful to have known you. I will never stop caring about you. Know that. It will just be a different kind of caring, one that wants the best for you and realizes the best is not me. I was mad at you; I know you are mad at me. I was not perfect, either. We cared so much about each other, but soon you will realize that we are two people that should not be together. Even though you will probably never read this, because you could no longer be friends with me on social media, I hope you find someone who cares about you as much as I did, and I think you would not take for granted what is right in front of you.
