Maybe my distaste for you every time you’re brought up is too subtle. Maybe it’s lost in that tall tee I see you wearing in every photo on Instagram. Maybe I’m judgmental, maybe I’m overprotective, or maybe I’m just too involved. But when it comes to my best friend and her well-being, call me what you want, I absolutely despise guys like you.

So, no, I’ve never met you. You probably don’t even know who I am. But believe me, I know you.

You’re awesome, right? You’ve got this incredibly sexy charm about you, you occasionally send her apologetic roses with afterthought notes and you make that sweet puppy dog face when you beg for things you know the answer’s no to, right? You’re protective in that you don’t let her speak to anyone else, and you’re alluringly cute in how you play hard to get when she reaches out for support. The way you constantly touch her in public is supposedly endearing. Yes, maybe I don't know you. But, I’ve met a million like you.

I'm sure you’re fine. Yes, I’m sure your parents love you. I’m sure you made varsity in high school, you lift weights on the weekend, you have above a B average in college and you have some loyal friends to drink Natty with, too.

But for every time you won’t be there, I will. Every time you screw up, I'll hold her hand. Every time you angrily storm out of the house, I'll walk to her room. Every time you mistake her for some other girl at a party, I'll brush her hair while sleep wills her away. I’ll give her a hug at the times that you won’t, I’ll be at her performances – the ones you forget - and I’ll be there at four in the morning when she comes to me pleading for an explanation of why she's not good enough.The irony is not lost on me.

She may not yet know, but I do. You’re not it. Because I’m the one who waits at the window when you pick her up for dates, and I’m the one who stays on the phone with her when she walks home from your place making sure she's okay.

I’ll be there to pick up the glass frames you broke until she realizes it’s you holding the hammer.

In the meantime, enjoy toying with girls like her because you'll never get a girl like her.