There I was, on a casual Friday night spent in my hometown, swiping on Tinder for the sole enjoyment of seeing people from high school and judging their profiles. Yet, when I got an unsurprising message of someone asking for a casual meet-up for sex, I kind of exploded on him. I don't know why I felt the need to ask this random person all the questions I had about the male mind. Maybe because I was only home for 12 hours and already was going insane out of boredom. Maybe it was because everything I asked him was just so relevant. I am not going to focus too much on my motives here, as there will never be a satisfying explanation. Regardless of why I wanted to, I did it anyway, and he was a good sport.
Before reading any further, though, I still would like to remind everyone, including myself, that this is just one person's opinions, and no one can speak for every user of the app. I know a lot of people who have actually found love on Tinder. However, I do feel that what he responds with is actually a common mindset for a range of users.
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Okay, so I got right to the point, because hey, the worst he could do is un-match me. I would have just returned to watching Netflix in the dark, relatively content. Clearly, I had nothing to lose.
My current response to his answers in this screen shot is "Whatever. It's still not fair."
This response gave me mixed emotions. It did validate that this guy was, in fact, a tool. Also, I was confused on what he was even saying, so at this point, I consulted a friend for support.
Super irrelevant, but I just realized that every time I type "what," my phone auto corrects to "why." It is also at this time that I am realizing that I didn't really know what I wanted from him. Apart from my original message, I still don't really understand where I was going with this interrogation.
Now I was just pulling questions out of nowhere, honestly. I can't really even tell if I still cared by this point, I think I was just still unsatisfied with the answers he was giving me. Also, there was a part of me that just wanted to hear what else he had to say.
In the meantime, between messages, I broke down his Tinder profile for my friend, because for some reason, it took me this long to do so.
Misleading profiles are the number one cause for miscommunication later on. Remember that, kids.
To clarify: Elaine is the psychic that my friend and I have gone to. Relevant later.
Anyway, so this is what he said, and I did finally feel like I had a satisfactory answer. As I said to my friend, I hated that I agreed with it, but it's true, I did.
I decided it was the perfect place to end the conversation. Also, I couldn't think of anything else to ask.
Then he responded with something stupid. Typical.
It didn't get much better from here. I should have listened to her, and just left it. But as usual, I may keep my friends in the loop, but never listen to them.
Let's review the amount of strikes in this one screen shot.
1. "Of course I do. I'm no fool." Just no. Stop. You're done. Sit down.
2. Doesn't have an iPhone (okay, okay, so this isn't a big deal.)
3. He felt the need to still reiterate that the "hookup thing is an open invitation."
Beyond over him at this point. So I turned to the friend for answers now.
Let's not ignore the fact that she completely ignored my revelation about my drunken day before.
Despite that, clearly my friend and I didn't get anywhere in terms of figuring out why we are even on tinder. Tinder is a superficial app. So is Bumble, our new favorite. But we both still love them.
This conversation with this random stranger was not something that I had really prepared for, but I am happy it happened. I don't think I have been fully enlightened, but it was refreshing to just be real with someone. I think the only thing I truly learned from this experience is that if I ever have questions about men and the inner machinations of their mind, there is a whole range of them on Tinder basically served on a plate for you to ask them anything you wouldn't be able to ask the IRL guy in your life.
And in the meantime, if you're lonely, at least find a friend you can be lonely with.
(Ignore the typo, please.)
