For as long as I can remember, my parents have watched Fox News at 10 p.m. every night. Usually, they head to bed after the first few stories; sometimes they fall asleep during the first commercial break, rarely do they stay up to watch the whole thing. The reason they tune in nightly even though they aren’t super enthused about the whole show: so many of the reports are on crimes, fires, thefts, death; hearing about that much violence quickly becomes unbearably unpleasant.

Most nights I watch it with them. From this show, I’ve seen so much film showcasing dark streets, flashing police lights, and yellow crime scene tape. And countless numbers of the crimes they report on involve shootings, featuring surprised neighbors proclaiming that they would never have expected such a tragedy to occur because they live in “a good neighborhood.” Always surprises. Why are we even surprised anymore?

When I hear about a shooting on the television or in the newspaper, my insides literally clench in physical pain. My eyes squeeze shut and I lean away from the source of information in retaliation. I physically and emotionally shy away from watching Fox’s images of the fallen or mug shots of the guilty because the sheltered girl inside of me wants to pretend this kind of suffering does not exist in the world, but it’s becoming harder and harder to ignore. Does anyone build callouses to the pain of hearing about innocent lives lost to shooters? For humanity’s sake, I hope not, but I fear so.

On June 12, 49 lives were lost in a horrific shooting at an Orlando night club. On July 7, five police officers were killed and seven others shot during protests over police violence the previous week. On July 12, President Obama flew to Dallas to speak at a memorial for the fallen officers. The day before he left, July 11, a prisoner in a Michigan courthouse disarmed an officer and shot and killed two bailiffs.

I hope you recognize the horrible irony at play here: as Obama traveled to a memorial service for a mass shooting in Dallas, another mass shooting was taking place in Michigan. Before Obama could publicly recognize the innocent lives lost from the Dallas shooting, other innocent lives were being lost in a Michigan shooting. And all this is happening while Americans continue to recover from the Orlando massacre.

Have shootings always been this rampant in American society or is this problem increasing in frequency? When and why did this become a recurring national issue?

I wonder how many Americans have gut-wrenching physical pain and squeeze their eyes shut when they hear of lives lost to a gun. I wonder how many will lose their breath when they read that Obama has now spoken at more than 14 memorial services for gun violence victims during his eight years as president. I wonder how many Americans really, truly believe that a change in gun control laws will actually change anything.

If we change the rules on gun control, if we stop potential terrorists from obtaining firearms or require background checks to purchase guns, will we really stop mass shootings? I worry that shootings have become so common as to have become a norm in American society, desensitizing many from feeling the depth of a shooting’s consequences.

It takes more than a firearm to execute a mass shooting: it takes malevolence, heartlessness and ruthlessness. It takes a strong cause of unwavering importance to the shooter and the bravery to allow them to risk their own life to eliminate others’. It takes tears and blood and innocent lives in the wrong place at the wrong time.

We can take guns away from potential terrorists, but can we take away the malice that motivates their actions?

Keep fighting, America, but I fear that it will take more than a few legislative changes to stop gun violence in our future.