Out of all the double edged swords we live with in the modern world, smartphones might be have the sharpest edges. On one hand I can answer any question in in seconds, on the other "sending a quick text" frequently turns into a half hour spent scrolling through various social media posts and pictures.

While on vacation last week, there was a moment where me and some others were sitting outside conversing. One by one, everyone pulled out their phones and the threads of conversation turned to sound bytes from various tiktoks and instagram posts. Having intentionally left my phone inside, I felt no choice but to observe.

How did we get here? I asked myself. We probably reached a lull in conversation, or it slowly transitioned from a game of "hot potato" where words went all around, to a back and forth "tennis match" between two people and someone took out their phone to occupy themselves, until one by one, the whole group was into their phones. I guess that it's become somewhat of "when I feel disinterested in what is going on, I'll take a break and go on my phone to let it pass", reflex with my generation. Except it doesn't always pass, but instead becomes much more prolonged people tune out of the conversation and lose presence for when they can to add something or change the topic. Eventually, everyone joins the other, and the interaction shifts from face-to-face conversation, to face-to-screen staring.

Multiple instances from my teenage years of my mom telling me that my "devices were messing up our brains and causing a wave of anxiety and depression within my generation" flooded back to me. Typically in those moments, I would be confused as to what the fuck she was talking about, having a smartphone since 7th grade made it so normal to me. Sitting outside watching everyone on phones, it occurred to me; this ability to simply take out a device and transport our minds out of the present moment and into an app or game of our choosing is less than 15 years old. This idea that if we are bored with or need a break from what is going on around us, that we can simply pull out a device and become occupied and entertained has become a natural reflex for my generation, yet is something completely new to the human experience, and at the same time immensely unnatural, while feeling so normal.

Think about how compulsively you grab for your phone, or the feeling you get when you grab for it and nothing happens after realizing you turned it off to give yourself a break in the first place. They've become ingrained into our everyday lives so quickly and seamlessly that we forget no humans before us had anything that compared to it. In terms of the anxiety my generation is faced with, we have grown used to the option of zoning out of the moment and into a screen of endless possibilities at our own will, or compulsively. It's something we must be very careful with. We are shortening our tolerance for the slightest bit of discomfort or "boredom", since we can transport ourselves to a world of "unlimited stimulation" on a moments notice.

I wasn't judging, just noticing, as this reliance on technology slips under our conscious awareness. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't guilty of it, that my time on the toilet hasn't increased drastically thanks to the likes of reddit. This is the world we live in, these are the things that are normalized. While not at fault for living like this, we are the ones with the power to become aware and shift our behaviors. Time spent giving our attention to our devices is time we'll never get back, time that someone else is profiting off of the most valuable thing we have, our attention. It's important to remember this, and that these devices aren't the end all be all, they aren't organic or natural in the slightest, and are best used as powerful tools, rather than an easy way to entertain ourselves when bored.

After enough thinking, I asked everyone if they'd wanna go on a walk since it was nice out, and off we went, forgetting about the devices we had in our pockets.

Recently, I've started using the Actuflow app. I leave it open when I close my phone, and when I open it I write down my intention, as well as the amount of time I intend to spend on my phone, after that a timer will go off, asking me if I completed my task without distractions, and I leave the phone locked on the app for the next time I use it. I've found that consciously articulating what I intend to do, as well as giving myself a desired amount of time, gives me more of a lazer focus and keeps me from ending up doing something mindless like scrolling instagram or reddit. I've also found a community on /r/nosurf of people dedicated to using the internet less, and spending more time on actual activities. Not that any of this is a complete cure to wasting time on the internet, but I see it as a good first step.