This year has been something. I say something because exciting doesn’t quite sound right neither does amazing nor boring or fulfilling. When I think of this year, I think of it in a constant stream of something. If it was not this it was that and if it was not that it was this. It was something. But within all those somethings and unexpected occurrences and encounters, I met one of the freest, most open-minded, down to earth women who had such a light in her that she caught my attention for her flame shined so brightly.

How I met her was no real surprise, we were at a school sponsored retreat aimed at engaging freshman and trying to help them with their adjustment to college. With one powerful speech after another and one discussion after the next about this and that, there came a conversation about things that have impacted you and have helped shape the person you are.

People talked about changes in family dynamics, illnesses, going on big trips and quite simply coming to college. But when it was her turn to tell her life-changing event, she simply named a book. She said something about “Milk and Honey.”

As she began to describe it and show us her favorite passages, I was so intrigued not only by her words but the words on the screen. They were so simple and true. So eloquently unforced that they touched my soul and the very next day I went to buy the book.

To say my perspective on life has changed is an understatement. To say that I am more empowered, more self-aware, more in love with life and myself is more of step in the right direction. But of all the beautifully articulated passages that I read, one that has continued to stick with me is that which consists of friendships and who you keep in your “squad”. No, she didn’t use so mainstream of a word but what she did use was a simple picture and the idea that we are the company that we keep.

Surround yourself with women who see you and instead of pegging you as competition encourage you and root you on. Surround yourself with women who have goals and plans to become more than what they were yesterday or even the year before. Surround yourself with women who care more about the world and their place in it with aims of making it a better place instead of simply decorating it. Surround yourself with resilient women who help you become the type of woman you one day hope to be.

Become guilty of growth, change, and independence by association. Association with women who see a better world because you are in it.