Events or situations do not have inherent meaning; rather you assign them a meaning based on how you interpret the event. Every thought has a hidden "frame" behind it. The frame is your underlying beliefs and assumptions that are implied by your thoughts. Here are 7 main guidelines to effectively reframe your mindset:
1. Shift from passive to active.
Example: Someone says, "I really doubt that I can do anything about this." You may respond, "What is one small step you might take?"
2. Shift from negative feeling to positive feeling.
Example: Someone says, "I don't want to work on that now because it makes me angry." You may respond, "What small part of that might you work on for now that might leave you feeling a bit better about it?"
3. Shift from past to future.
Example: Someone says, "I've never been good at public speaking." You may respond, "If you imagined yourself successful at public speaking, how would it look?"
4. Shift from future to past.
Example: Someone says, "I can't seem to get started on achieving this goal." You may respond, "Has there been a time in the past when you achieved a goal and what did you do to achieve it?"
5. Shift from others to oneself.
Example: Someone says, "They don't seem to like me." You may respond, "What do you like about yourself?"
6. Shift from a liability to an asset.
Example: Someone says, "I'm such a perfectionist." You may respond, "How has being a perfectionist helped you in your job and life?"
7. Shift from victimization to empowerment.
Example: Someone says, "That always seems to happen to me. I'm an easy mark so they blame me." You may respond, "Sometimes we even do that to ourselves. Perhaps it would be useful to look at if you are doing that to yourself too?"
"If more students use self-compassion to reframe their failures, they may discover more nourishing sources of motivation and healthier strategies to pursue their goals." – Rachel Simmons