Going to church as an introvert who loses energy quickly around people or having social anxiety can be one of the worst experiences. Here are 7 tips to survive church:
1. Locate all exits immediately. Know your best escape route. Find the way to avoid walking through the lobby were several people could potentially stop you to try to have a surface level conversation and make small talk. Seek out that one abandoned exit in the back of the church by the children’s ministry. It may be your only hope.
2. Practice, practice, practice. While your brush your teeth in the morning, go over your lines: “Good! How are you?” “ Have a blessed week!” "Peace be with you." Get that fake smile ready to pull out with only a second’s notice. You can never be overprepared.
3. Have an exit buddy. I guarantee there is at least one other introvert in your congregation. Team up! This seems counter intuitive but go with me for a minute. In some cases, you aren’t able to get to your emergency exit so you are forced to walk through the shadow of death, otherwise known as the lobby. Having your exit buddy is a sure way to escape any conversation. If you get stopped, your exit buddy simply butts in and says “Hey, so sorry to interrupt but we have to run!”
4. Locate your safe space. This is similar to locating your exits but geared toward those who are stuck at church for extended periods of time (i.e. multiple services). This safe space looks different for everyone but it tends to be a private space where few people could potentially walk through. Personally, I utilize the church office and the closet behind the stage. Get creative though! Sound booths, nurseries, hidden bathrooms, wherever you can get alone for a few minutes to recharge.
5. Speaking of sound booths and nurseries, serve in an invisible place. I suck at this part, but there are places in the church you can serve without having to interact with an excessive number of people. Reset the auditorium/sanctuary between services, hold some babies (they don’t talk yet so its safe, I promise), be a tech person, or collect the offering (no talking required, score!). Serving does not necessarily mean greeting people or being on stage every weekend.
6. Sit in the back. Find the back row right now. Sit at the end of said row. Or better yet, find a balcony. Go hide in the back of that balcony. Find out if your church live broadcasts somewhere else in the building where people don’t typically sit, such as by the nursery.
7. Learn about the church. Do they make you stand up during the service if you’re new? Do they force you to shake hands and greet people? Are there meet and greet events after the service that you will get pressured into attending? For communion, how do they serve it? Can you find their worship set before services so you can learn the songs and not look dumb? Will you have to fill out a card with your information so they can find you and shame you into going to their events? Find out this information and be mentally prepared for what you are walking into.
Ok so maybe these are a bit unrealistic. I'll admit, I’ve done most of these at some point or another. While these are temporary solutions, there is a heart issue that needs to be addressed. Being an introvert is not an excuse to not love people, especially in the body of Christ. The church should be a safe space for you to interact with others without the fear of being judged. While there are factors like social anxiety that play a role, our God is stronger than any fear that could keep us from joining together with other Christians. At the risk of sounding cliche, pray about it. Prayer is talking to the all powerful creator of the universe who cares about us and wants to help. Time spent alone with God should be the most energizing part of a Christian introvert’s life. Take this time to ask for opportunities to meet people and overcome anxieties, build relationships that further His kingdom.
