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The Guide To Surviving Apple's New Emoji Update

Because tech-savvy is the new black.

Katlin Sarantou

Oct 26, 2015

University of Dayton

107

The Guide To Surviving Apple's New Emoji Update

As some of you may or may not know Apple's new iOS 9.1 update includes 184 new emoji updates. That's right folks, our emoji vocabulary just expanded to exponential possibilities. In the midst of this chaos, I've decided to make a guide to help us novices use these new emojis to the full potential of their awesomeness. With that, let us begin with a few of my favorites.

The Nerd

Finally! An emoji for my people! This emoji is obviously meant for casual conversation. Netflix binge *nerd face, just saw a cute squirrel *nerd emoji, reading some Jane Austen *nerd emoji. Really, the possibilities are endless.

The Eye Roll

I'm all about this sass. This will most likely become the most used emoji in my conversations with my boyfriend. I noticed you didn't call me on your drive home from school *eye roll emoji. #highmaintenance4life

The Thinking Face

Trying to decide what's for dinner? What time to start that movie? To swipe left or right? This emoji's got you.

The Detective

When it comes time for some major Facebook stalking, this emoji is the perfect fit. We feel like freaking Sherlock Holmes when we uncover something in our best friend's sketchy boyfriend's page, and finally we have an emoji to express our excitement. Sketchy boyfriends everywhere beware.

The Middle Finger

Not sure why this has been one of the top requested emojis, but hey, y'all, it's here! Why do I have a feeling this is going to be a regular image in my roommate group chat?

The Taco

Also one of the top requested emojis. I mean, I love Mexican food as much as the next girl, but not sure I get the hype. The only acceptable way to use this emoji is to have it followed by a thousand hearts and a trip to Taco Bell.

The Unicorn

The most majestic of all the emojis. This can be used in place of the princess emoji. Requesting your man to bring you some pizza *insert unicorn emoji, needing a little love *insert unicorn emoji, describing your beautiful self *insert unicorn emoji.

Man in Business Suit Levitating

Finally, I leave you with the most perplexing of all the new emojis. What does he mean? No one is sure. Is he a genie, or does he represent something larger like the power of the male-dominated workforce? Either way, you can throw this guy in the middle of any conversation to confuse the heck out of the person you are texting.

Happy texting, friends!

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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Recommended for you

The Guide To Surviving Apple's New Emoji Update

Because tech-savvy is the new black.

The Nerd

The Eye Roll

The Thinking Face

The Detective

The Middle Finger

The Taco

The Unicorn

Man in Business Suit Levitating

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#Adulting is hard.

1. Taking care of yourself when you're sick

2. Making a to-do list

3. Planning your activities around the weather

4. Scheduling your own doctor’s appointments

5. Getting your own toilet paper

6. Making food without needing to ask your mom questions

7. Holding your tongue

8. Saving your paycheck (or your tax refund) to pay your bills

9. Balancing your checkbook

10. Going places alone

11. Packing your own lunches

12. Actually eating your vegetables...on purpose

13. Taking a multivitamin

14. Planning a life after graduation

Sometimes bigger isn't always better.

1. If something happens, everyone knows about it

2. Never getting to be invisible

3. Knowing every single thing about every single person in the town

4. New kids are a big deal

5. It’s hard to make new friends

6. On that note ... the dating pool is even smaller!

7. Teachers are weirdly close to their students

8. It forced you to make friends out of school

"I'm hopeless and awkward and desperate for love"

1. That Time He Tested Out His Flirting Skills and This Happened

2. When He Was Willing to Do Anything to Avoid Confrontation

3. When He Couldn't Handle Awkward, Emotional Situations

4. How He Reacted Whenever His Friends Ignored Him

5. All of the Times He Worried About His Failing Love Life

6. Whenever He Tried to Whip Himself Into Shape

7. How He Handled New People and New Experiences

8. Whenever His Friends Got Annoying, He Was Always the Voice of Reason

9. He Always Knew How to Jam

10. He Finds a Way to Make Any Situation More Fun

No, I can't help you.

1. When a customer wants to return a product, hands you the receipt, where is printed "ALL SALES ARE FINAL" in all caps.

2. Just because you might be having a bad day, and you're in a crappy mood, doesn't make it okay for you to yell at me or be rude to me. I'm a person with feelings, just like you.

3. People refusing to be put on hold when a customer is standing right in front of you. Oh, how I wish I could just hang up on you!

4. Having the same conversations over and over again! To be honest I really don't even want to talk to you right now, or have this fake ass smile on my face!

5. Always having to have a smile on your face. I promise I'm not as happy as I may look!

6. Customers not understanding that sometimes, mistakes happen. I am a human being, we all mess up sometimes!

7. Having the boss from hell, it's their way or the highway! Even though I did my job correctly and efficiently, if I don't do it the exact way you do, I'm a piece of shit.

8. Having coworker who don't help out, who bend the rules just enough to screw you over.

9. Having to be at work after closing because a customer is taking forever and half! Not like I'd like to go home or anything!

10. Having shitty hours and more shifts than you asked for. Just because we don't have enough workers, doesn't mean I want to pick up every shift that you cant cover, oh great boss of mine!

11. Not having time for a social life. It gets old saying, "I can't I have work..." Every day of the week!

12. Having that lazy costumer who can't do anything for themselves... no please I'll get that, it's no problem at all!

It's just my face, I swear.

1. When you meet new people, they automatically assume you hate them or are rude.

2. People are constantly asking you if you're OK.

3. After being friends with someone for a while, they confess to you, "I thought you were so mean when I first met you," or, "I thought you hated me."

4. You get told to smile more, but they don't understand how scary that would be.

5. You're always labeled as seeming "judgy."

6. Passing a friend with your RBF in full force and not realizing you just shot them a death glare.

7. Being sarcastic, but everyone thinks you're outright rude.

8. Not knowing how mean you really look until you see a picture of yourself in resting face.

9. Your apologies never sound sincere because of your emotionless face.

10. Your "mad face" scares you.

11. And, lastly, people are constantly asking you if you are happy or having a good time because you look bored to death.

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