Everyone goes to the movies. And as a general rule, there is a certain unspoken standard of decorum that goes along with watching a film in a dark room full of strangers.

Recently, I saw Jennifer Lawrence's new movie, Joy. The movie began at 9:45 PM on Christmas. At 10 PM, two girls who couldn't have been over the age of 12 stumbled into the room, spilling popcorn and Sour Patch Kids as they stomped up the stairs to their seats. And throughout the film, there was burping and giggling and a high whisper volume that can only be described as a "normal speaking voice."

Needless to say, those two girls ruined the movie-going experience for me that day. And now, an angry rant about how you should behave at the movies, complete with gifs and sarcasm!

1. If you come in late, come in quietly.

Everyone else in the theater is already engrossed in the film and they do not need their concentration broken by unnecessary noise coming from the kids who didn't get dropped off in time.

2. Do not try to communicate with the fictional characters in the film.

They will not answer back, nor will they take your advice. Trust me, whatever you’re thinking, everyone else in the audience is as well. There's no need to verbalize it.

3. If someone asks you to be quiet, please comply.

You’re obviously bothering one person. How many other people are you bothering? And don't be sarcastic about it. If someone has to shush you from across the theater, do not sarcastically shush them back. That just makes it worse.

4. Do not make noises with the food you have purchased.

Don’t munch your popcorn. Don’t smack your gum. Don’t crinkle the candy wrappers. Don’t slurp your Diet Coke or make noises with your straw.

5. Just sit down, shut up and watch the movie.

I paid ten dollars to watch a movie. I did not pay to hear your comments or concerns. Leave those, along with your crying babies, at the door.

In conclusion, go to the movies. I would never tell anyone to not enjoy a piece of cinema. Just make sure to follow these simple rules.

Merry movies and happy awards season, everyone!