The dating world is evolving. As a millennial myself, having observed this evolution of dating, I couldn't help but notice the different categories our generation has created to remain about as non-committal as possible in the dating world.
It is progressively becoming more complex, making me thankful to be off the market because:
We have completely invented new categories for dating, categories that involve lots of confusion and explanation to your friends and at family gatherings. You go home for Thanksgiving after your freshman year of college and have to explain to every nosy relative that you don't have a boyfriend or girlfriend: you have a thing with someone, you're exclusive with someone, or you try to find some euphemism for hooking up with someone that won't terrify your grandma.
Here, I have crafted a guide to clarify the different stages of dating in an attempt to shed some light on the complex world our generation has created.
1. Single
You get to work on yourself. This is your opportunity to figure out who you are and who you want to be. Being single means taking chances and finding what moves you toward your dreams and goals. You get to hit the town, answering to no one except the strange people sliding into your DMs on Tinder.
2. Hooking Up
All is fair in love and playing games. This is the ultimate sprint away from commitment. This is the purely physical no-feels zone. You wait by your phone for that Netflix and chill text. They text you back after 10 minutes? You wait 11 minutes to reply. You try to seem extremely casual and uninterested about it but deep down you're worried about catching feels.
3. We're Talking
So hooking up got you both in the feels, what now? The secrets out and you have both told each other you "like like" each other like this is middle school. You have a bad case of the butterflies everytime their name pops up on your phone but you still try to act like you don't care. You're still technically single because you're not exclusive but you're still worried they're going to hook up with other people. You're a "thing." Whatever that means.
4. We're Exclusive
This is the no one else can have them, but you're not ready to date stage. You are starting to develop some serious feelings for this person and you are scared you could get hurt. You're in deep but there is still bouncing back if things go south.
It's a little bit like a dog peeing on a fire hydrant to stake its claim, but the dog keeps on walking when it's done because it doesn't want to take full ownership of what it just did. You want everyone to know you're together, so you mark your territory. You want everything except to be called their boyfriend or girlfriend. I hate to break it you but spoiler alert: you're already basically their boyfriend or girlfriend.
5. Dating
You made it through the marathon of dating to the finish line. This is the stage everyone is so terrified to get to. Quite frankly, our generation is terrified of commitment. We are a generation of over-romanticizing movies and overcompensating out of fear of heartbreak. However, there is something to say about having somebody in your life that knows every facet of you and loves you despite your most fatal flaw.
Yes, there is always a chance you will get your heart broken, but life moves on and so can you. Personally, I think dating somebody and falling in love is one of the most beautiful experiences that shouldn't be avoided out of fear of heartbreak.
Bottom line, our generation has commitment issues. We have overcomplicated dating to the point we barely can understand it ourselves. While I hope my guide is an attempt to simplify the various stages, there really are no universal definitions for this complicated web we have weaved as a generation. Long gone are the days of two individuals simply liking each other, articulating that to one another, and then heaven forbid, going on actual old-school dates like those '80s movies we romanticize so much.
