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Guarded

The walls are going back up & I can't seem to stop them.

Emoly
Aug 05, 2019
1
Guarded
cdn.pixabay.com

After the past two weeks I am conflicted. I don't want to be, but I feel burned. We set each other on the back burner while we were dealing with Kujo. Is this how it's going to be every time there is a serious conflict in one of our lives? I can't continue that way. We need to lean on each other. Not go against.

I shouldn't be the only one attempting to fix. I feel like it's every relationship (not dating relationship) I have that I am the one coming to the other person trying to hash it out. Why can't someone try for me? It would go such a long way.

I just want to put my walls right back up. That would be easier. It would hurt less in the end, but this way the end would come quicker. I want to fight, but I feel like I am fighting for this alone sixty percent of the time. I need to feel some sort of selflessness.These are the reasons why I'm not built for dating relationships. I change, because I re-think everything a million times over. I don't know how to stop it.

I don't want to self-sabotage. I want to grow from this, but I feel like I'm stuck ruining my own potential future.

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