The Chaco epidemic has attacked the nation and is spreading around the world and needs to stop. College students "hiking" across campus and through malls: Listen up and throw those things out. Now.

The Chaco sandals were originally made for whitewater rafting guides and now hikers, which is apparently the job of every "hip" college student. So yes, you can get these sandals wet and dirty. Props to you Chaco, you had an okay idea. Colorado Terreno, Unaweep, Diamond Stealth, Pro, Yampa, and whatever other style — you name it, Chaco has it. While these shoes seem fitting for what they are made for, they are not complementing your XL T-shirt and norts.

First off, who in their right mind would spend $100 on rubber Jesus sandals? 100 dollars?! Hello all Chaco supporters, do you realize what you could buy or who you could help for $100? That homeless man down the street would sure love some of that money. If we are sticking to rubber shoes: Tory Burch, Jack Rodgers, ANYTHING better than water sandals that were originally made for whitewater rafting guides.

OK, OK, you say they are comfortable. Which is totally fine with me; my Tory rain shoes give me killer blisters. But circa 2007, Crocs were comfortable too. They have a squishy sole that never irritates or gives your foot those terrible cramps that feel worse than a charley horse in the middle of the night. You can go for miles all day at the mall and never get the urge to rip them off and go barefoot. But similar to Crocs, who finds these sandals attractive?

SEE ALSO:10 Reasons Why You Need Crocs In Your Life

If you haven't noticed, Chacos are so awesome and give you the freedom to choose your own strap color. Rainbow, tie dye, stripped, tribal, chevrons, anything you want — again, Chaco has it. Sorry, not sorry, they do not match that frat shirt and khakis you are rocking, fellas. Also, we really don't want to sit in class and see your gross toes colorfully strapped onto a flexible, black, rubber sole. Girls, they do not match your sundress or bright norts. And no, it does not make you look like you love #nature what so ever.

Do not get me started on the tan lines....

And you are worried about a bathing suit tan line? I'll leave it at that.

So, let's say you are wearing these $100 rubber things for what they are made for. Whoever you are, my question for you is: How do you actually hike in your Chacos? This is not my expertise, but they don't seem very safe for actual outdoor activities. It seems impractical to hike a mountain with your whole foot exposed. But who actually knows....

If you haven't noticed, I am anti-Chaco. These things are expensive, unattractive, leave terrible tan lines and seem unsafe for any actual outdoor activity or whatever you are wearing these things for. So you can keep your "they are SO comfortable" argument and I'll stick to mine. But please, we all know in a couple of years you will look back and say, "What was I thinking?"