This past week I saw all over social media how thankful people were for their families, seeing that makes me so happy that there are kids that grew up with both parents and siblings all in one home. It had me thinking there is hope in the world for it since I wasn't so lucky. I also saw them posting how thankful for people were for their significant other, I did get lucky for that.

Seeing all this got me thinking how not having a father around growing up affects my relationship with my boyfriend.

Ever heard of Fatherless Daughter Syndrome? Webster’s Dictionary defines syndrome as “a group of signs and symptoms that occur together and characterize a particular abnormality.”

Within the Fatherless Women’s Syndrome, there are some very distinct symptoms that have an abnormal effect on your emotions. When a woman is left without her father, she has emptiness inside, she struggles with abandonment issues, and she may even feel unloved or unwanted. Some ladies without fathers in their lives may disagree with this diagnosis and may feel that their fathers’ absence has no effect or control over their lives but, even if it’s subconscious, it does have and effect and if we would be honest with ourselves, we would see that the syndrome shows its ugly head in all of our relationships.

I question things that happen in my relationship every day. I know deep down it's not my boyfriend's fault every time. I question if he is telling me truth every time he tells me something. I do have trust issues, I will admit that, but there isn't a guide on how to deal with daddy issues; it really is a daily struggle.

The first relationship a little girl has with a man is the one she has with her father. This relationship gives life to what that little girl, who will eventually become a woman, will believe she deserves in her relationships with men. It’s impactful, poignant, life-shaping, and oh-so-necessary. What happens to the little girl who doesn’t have the chance to experience this relationship?

There is no blueprint, outline, or guide to help me understand the right way to be loved and because I still truly don't know. My decisions come from a place of scarcity rather than love. There were so many things my dad could’ve showed me but he was selfish and put his needs before mine.

This is why I say I am still recovering from Fatherless Daughter Syndrome because I have taken the time to really look inside myself and understand what I want. It has not been easy but it has been necessary because the life I want and work hard towards every day will not allow for it to be any other way.