It’s easy to feel invisible in our culture. When we are in high school there were those who had the looks, the money, and the social circle. When we’re in college people are traveling and the “ring before spring” phenomenon is running wild. When we’re adults we are faced with other adults who are more successful than we are, make more money, and seem to have a happier marriage. It’s easy to be swept up in envy and get lost in the chaos. I have found myself in this place often. I cannot say I have all the answers, but I do have some suggestions for those of you who struggle with envy just like I do.

Learn to grow where you are. This can be extremely difficult for those of us who are prone to envy. Senior year of high school I made the decision to move out to New York for my first year of college. Surprisingly, I followed through with it. I had an incredible time, and I don’t regret any of it. But towards the end of freshman year, I felt God placing a reality on my heart that I did not like. He kept whispering to me, “You’re trying to run away from who you are.” I was furious with Him and furious with myself. I truly did not think I was running away from who I was. I felt as if I was developing and changing into the person I was supposed to become in New York. But I kept experiencing this nagging feeling that I was not where I was supposed to be.

In May, I decided to transfer to a school in Minnesota and not return to New York. I did not make this decision because I did not like New York. New York was beautiful, fun, and it helped discover a side of me that I had never known before. But I made this decision because I realized that while I was excellent at growing in other locations, I was awful at growing where God placed me. 18 years in Minnesota, and yet I was too envious of others to grow. Unless I was traveling or having an adventure of some sort, my growth was of no importance. But I have spent the last 6 months trying to train myself to grow where God has placed me, and He has placed me at home. It’s not always easy, and I often catch myself envying someone else. Proverbs 16:9 says, “The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps." Although my heart may have been set on New York, God established my steps to take me there and back again. Here is where He wants me, so here is where I am learning to stay.

Learn to trust God. Isaiah 14:24 says, “The Lord of hosts has sworn: ‘As I have planned, so shall it be, and as I have purposed, so shall it stand.” God has this incredible plan for your life. I don’t see it and you don’t see it, but He sees it. It is never easy to blindly trust Him, but it is the reality that we have to accept. As one who loves to plan and control, I too struggle with this idea of blindly trusting God. I especially struggled with this growing up. My dad was a pastor and after two years of taking a break from being a pastor, he decided to go back to it. I struggled a lot with this because I had already become established in the church we were attending, and once again we were being uprooted and dragged to a new church. I didn’t like it. But when my dad asked me what I thought about it, I knew it didn’t matter. I said to him, “It doesn’t matter what I think. If God wants it to happen then it will happen. If he doesn’t then it won’t.” And it did happen. We were at that church for four years. It’s not always easy, but at the end of the day God’s plan is the best plan and if He has sworn it, then it shall be.

Learn to follow your heart, not the crowd. This is probably one of the hardest things to do. We often feel invisible because we feel like we’re not following the crowd enough. We don’t have the popular social circle, we don’t go on the incredible adventures, we don’t make that $500K salary. We feel invisible because we have chosen different paths than what they have chosen. While that is actually a beautiful thing, we do not see it that way. Albert Einstein was not popular, but he was a genius. Jane Austen was criticized for being a single, female writer, but now all of her novels are considered classic works of literature. Martin Luther made the meager amount that a minister makes, and yet he completely redefined how we approach Christianity. All I am saying is that sometimes the unpopular may make you feel invisible, but that does not mean you will be anything less than great.

You are not meant to be Albert Einstein, Jane Austen, or Martin Luther. You were created to be you. You are capable of being the next person to revolutionize our world and our mindset. When you feel like people cannot or will not see you, make them hear you. If they cannot or will not hear you, make them see you. You do not have to fade in with the crowd.

This culture is complicated and often times hard to live in. We feel that if we are not the same as the people around us then we have failed in some way. We become envious. But I think it’s the very people who are not the same that will be the happiest. Because when you learn to grow where you are, trust God and follow your heart, you are able to be so much more than invisible. Don’t let the fact that you are different change you, let it change them.