The last two years have been quite a turning point in my life. Nothing exceptionally important has happened, at least nothing compared to the life events that have transpired before I turned 25 (I got married, bought a house, had a kid and divorced). But I find my mind changing and growing in new ways. What used to look black and white to me has become different shades of grey, and sometimes all different types of colors. Lines have blurred and don’t seem so terrible to cross sometimes. In a way, I am still that 16-year-old girl who was never afraid to be herself, but the way I look at being an adult is totally different. I've never listened to the social stereotypes that dictate how to be accepted as an adult in today's society

However, I am always in constant observation mode. I can't help but question everything. Sometimes we have to make compromises and sacrifices, but we should do so because sacrifice is what's needed, not for recognition or martyrdom.

I always hear people say, “I'm too old for that,” and they're only in their twenties. Now, I have no inclination to drink anymore or go out and party all night, but that's not what makes me who I am. There are certain core elements that make up my soul, and I think if I tried to take those elements out of my life to fit into societies' standards of a functional adult, then I would be lost.

I'm not talking about extreme behaviors like partying or drug use or leaving your kids places they shouldn't be. I'm talking about things that genuinely make life more enjoyable that society has deemed inappropriate for “adults” to do. There are two things that make me who I am, music and the beach.

Growing up, my mother played me the best records: Elvis, Patsy, Stevie, John Denver and even Bob Dylan. I grew up with a love of true lyrics and beautiful melodies. Music has impacted my life in every way, and to this day every memory I have has a song attached to it. I remember the first time I heard Veruca Salt, sitting in my seventh grade chorus class with a friend's Walkman on my lap, captivated at the unique way Veruca Salt played their music. This band was a turning point in my adolescence, and I began to search for more than I was used to.

With the music came the clothes, hair, and makeup changes. My parents mistook my unique way of expressing myself as an act of rebellion. I never changed anything about myself to prove something to them; in fact, I always had the up-most respect for them. I just tried to express myself in a different way than others. I dived into punk rock and alternative music and the world that went with it. Brody Dalle became my idol: Mohawk, lipstick, guitar and married to the hottest dude in the genre and front man of Rancid, Tim Armstrong. I loved how honest she was with herself. At the time, she was a revolutionary in the punk world. Not many women in that scene can claim what she has done. Watching us both grow up over the years has continually renewed my faith in myself.

After I started going through my changes and reflecting on myself, I realized she had too, yet she was still her. Before I got married, I vowed to never change who I was or change to make anyone else happy.

Then it started as a trickle.

One day, I decided to dye my hair a natural color. The next year, I took out my facial piercings, and eventually my gauges. I started buying different clothes and covering my tattoos more. I was still me. Others started noticing the changes, commenting on how "grown up" I'd become (I was 26). I would just always shrug and roll my eyes because the comments felt like a stab at who I am. I was still this expressive person, but I just found new ways to do express myself.

To this day, I still listen to the same music. I didn't make the changes in my appearance because I was trying to fit in or felt that I had to, to be considered part of the “grown-ups.” I did it because I changed. I saw myself differently, but I never felt different on the inside. Music is still such a giant part of my life, and I still seek out new artists and genres and try to expose my daughter to as much of it as I can. There is always music playing in our house, our car, the beach, or even at work.

About a year ago, I realized how much of a sham growing older is. Nobody really knows what they are doing. In a lot of ways, I still have no idea most days how I will make it through the day, or how I will create all these detailed charts, bid a job or plan a project. I just end up figuring it out. I see my peers complaining about everything now more than even.

So many have given up on things that make them unique just for the sake of “getting older.” This is such a ridiculous concept to me. Twenty-seven is being six. It's being 18 and being 55 all at one time. You want to grow up, go back to your parents, and be successful and independent all at once without having any clue of how to really do it. Really, the only advice I can give you at any age is no matter what your goals or dreams are, no matter what your job, career or education is. Give it everything you have! Try as hard as you can. Don’t be the rest of the world who only does just enough to get by.

I still think about being 16 and wanting to grow up soooo bad and prove that I could take care of myself. The irony is now I wish I could go back and enjoy those years a little more, slow down and take in the view.

I’m not saying I would give up my independence now, but I would just choose to stay a kid a little longer, maybe go to that fall dance and maybe join a club.

Sometimes 27 feels like limbo, like I’m just waiting here until something happens so I can move on. I had to learn how to live in the moment and stop listening to all the voices echoing around me, trying to tell me how be a grown up, a wife, or a parent. I realized that it’s not limbo; Americans have just stereotyped it that way. No time in your life should be like limbo. It doesn’t matter if your six, 16, 27 or 97. You have to enjoy every single moment of your life. Every day is important. Make the best of a Thursday when it’s raining. Don’t live for the weekend, because one day you'll be 60 years old and you'll maybe have 35 birthdays left? 35 Christmases?

It amazes me how much kickback I get from people when they find out how often I go to the beach with my daughter. I try to take her a couple times a week, whether it’s all day on the weekends or after school for a couple hours. We go to beach all year even if it’s cold, just to play in the sand and listen to the waves. My daughter has a massive love for the outdoors and respect for the ocean. She knows the rules, know how to be safe, and is an incredible swimmer.

Yet, you wouldn’t believe the people who chastise me for having my child out there too long or all the time. The beach is a part of us; its who we are. We go collect shells after storms, take walks and watch the sunset. I see no reason to stay home because it’s what I “should” do. I may not be financially able to take her on vacations and to Chuck E. Cheese all the time, but that doesn’t mean she can’t have an exceptional childhood. I’m just saying that you can’t just shove all the fun out of your life because your whatever age, or work whatever job. You can’t keep your kids from experiencing the world just because you don’t feel like doing anything.

The only advice I can give is to just listen to others, feel things deeply, love people madly (even if you might get hurt), live your days trying to be a good person, friend, parent, or whatever. Work hard, but don’t let it consume you. Never take life or yourself to seriously, and always remember to relax, even when the world is falling apart around you. Life is much too short to take it for granted, and always be waiting on tomorrow, always waiting for something better to come. No one owes us anything, happiness included. Terrible things happen every day. It’s important to recognize the bad things, change what you can, learn what you can and keep moving forward. Don’t let anyone define you; don’t let anything change who you really are, no matter what that is.

This is what 27 is like for me. It’s not too different from 26 or 25, and I don’t anticipate 30 or 40 changing too much either. The world is what YOU make it. What YOU see. Remember its YOURS.