Back to school it was for me this week, but this time it was different than any other year. I finally moved out. The pressure of being all alone and an adult is seriously overwhelming. I don't think I've ever been as overwhelmed as I have been today. The hardest part about moving out was probably when my mom drove away to leave me at my apartment. That moment was probably harder for me than it was for her.
Words can't express how excited I am to finally be "on my own" but the reality behind it all is that I'm actually terrified of actually being on my own. The many bills I have to pay and the books I have to rent for classes I have yet to start. I've realized that growing up isn't all it's cracked up to be. It's really intense and as kids you never think of it being that way. Simple things like making sure the doors are locked are things I now worry about because I don't have my mom to come behind me and check them. I have to grocery shop because my mom can't go and pick up something for me. I have to make my own doctor appointments if I get sick because my mom can't call it in for me. I have to drive myself wherever I go because my mom isn't around to drive me wherever when I don't want to drive. I have to do my own laundry because my mom isn't here to do it for me. Honestly, I feel like a big baby because I keep talking about my mom, but the truth is she has done everything for me and taught me everything I know so I'm really sad that I can't be with her all the time. I'm entirely grateful for her. I wish she could be around forever. But, growing up and leaving the nest is a part of growing up.
The main point I want to get across is that, simple things shouldn't be taken for granted like mom cooking dinner. I really don't know what it's like to be on my own but here is to the rest of my life. I feel hopeful and prepared to start this journey of mine called adolescence but I am terrified. Life is meant to be enjoyed and I couldn't be more excited for the next two years left of my college career.
