A few weeks ago I attended my 10 Year High School Reunion. Ugh, I feel old just typing that.
I grew up always in the middle of social groups--never quite on top of the pyramid of social royalty, never on the dreaded bottom. Middle was safe. Middle was where I could balance my theater friends with my band friends, my newspaper friends with my upper-class friends. But the bold lines between friend circles was always there, always in the back of your head as you were getting ready for school, walking the hallways, and getting asked to dances. There were the popular girls you wanted to be like, the party kids who you wanted an invite from, the smart kids that you wanted to copy homework off of, and don’t forget about those cute boys…why pay attention in class when you can flirt with ‘Fred’ and ‘Bob’? (OK I know there only ONE person on earth that will understand these code names and I’m fine with that…Hi Becca!!).
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Every interaction caused you to want to act a certain way, talk a certain way, and dress a certain way. The everyday pressure was real to stick out while also fit in, to be yourself but also try to be like those pretty girls that seemed to have it all together.
I remember being 18 and thinking about my first reunion--how I would not come back to it unless I had something to show for those years between. Ideally, I would be living in California or New York, pursuing a fabulous acting career and probably dating Leo DiCaprio.
Oh, 18-year-old Abby….you weirdo.
Spoiler Alert: I haven’t accomplished any of those things… yet.
The day of the reunion arrived, and I found myself right back in the high school mindset, but instead of worrying about my A&F wardrobe, frizzy hair, or breakouts, I was worried about the fact that I was living alone, never left the Quad Cities, and working an office job. It seemed like everyone else had gone off to exciting cities, got fancy jobs, constantly surrounded by myriads of friends, and their lives were filled with happy marriages and cute babies. And it is true, they all are doing so well in their lives with their jobs and degrees, their kids and relationships, but I forgot that I, too, had lived a life within those 10 years that they, too, have kept up with. I was so worried about being a dud that I never once thought that they were keeping up with my life just as much as I was keeping up with theirs (thanks, Facebook!). Although I didn’t move, or accomplish my big, lavish goal, I’ve still accomplished things and had great experiences in my own community through volunteering, ministry, and theater, and I can’t thank these people enough for helping me notice it.
I was so concerned about not measuring up that I forgot there was no longer a measuring stick being used; we’re all on the same playing field, all trying to make it in the real world and leave our mark. Some of us could barely remember people and events from high school, while others drank some magic serum that made them way more attractive as they’ve grown older. We no longer have our cliques or attitudes but instead, have a common bond: we are officially of the age in which we have reunions. Oof.
While I am still holding myself accountable to my same goals for the 20-year reunion (….hit me up, Leo!), I am encouraged by my classmates in the way they have grown up and moved on past our crazy high school days. Here we are, 10 years later, having faced some of the tragedies that come with the inevitable passing of time such as the loss of classmates, parents, friends, and fighting hard battles against addictions, diseases, and life in general. The days in which we thought we were invincible are now replaced with the knowledge that time is precious, and we are only given so much to leave a positive impact around us. We are all so different from the kids who thought they knew everything. From fighting cancer, owning businesses, starting ministries, becoming husbands, wives, moms, dads, models, nurses, doctors, bartenders, teachers, coaches, hair stylists, musicians, engineers, explorers, photographers, and a thousand other things to a thousand different people, we all have started to make a big difference in the communities and people around us…and it’s only been 10 years! What more will we accomplish in the next 10?
