I grew up in a very family-oriented culture. I was the only girl in the family until I turned nine and my little sister was born, but because the age difference was too obvious at the moment, I would spend all of my time with cousins. Male cousins.
There are three of us who are similar in age, I like to refer to us as “The Three Musketeers,” and we were never apart when I traveled to visit. On top of that, there are a lot of uncles and older cousins. Once again, all male.
Now, there’s nothing I dislike more than when people generalize, so I won’t tell you every boy you’ll ever come across in your life will have these characteristics. However, in my 20 years on this planet, I have yet to meet one who doesn’t have at least three of them.
Here are the things growing up surrounded by guys taught me about the male sex. Enjoy.
They play video games 24/7, and if they are not playing, then they are probably talking about it
Fifa, Fortnite, Mario Kart, Zelda, Call of Duty.
Anything.
You name it, they can play it for hours without even stopping for food.
They will eat everything and anything you leave in their way
You bought a box of your favorite chocolates?
HIDE THEM.
If they find it, they will eat it.
Don’t EVER mention a crush
Unless you want them to remind you of it years later.
Believe they’ll never stop bothering you with it.
I made the mistake of mentioning a crush back in my primary school days, and my cousin still mentions him whenever he sees me.
“You remember when you liked X”
Well, no. I don’t, I WAS 8.
They are the most basic sex
Don’t imply anything. If you want them to know something, then go and say it because they won’t figure it out through your sarcasm.
They can’t multitask
They are playing video games? Don’t talk to them.
They are eating? Don’t talk to them.
They are scrolling through Instagram? DON’T TALK TO THEM.
They won’t listen.
They think of themselves as your bodyguards
Try to go out surrounded my nothing but guys. They create a wall around you, bodyguard style.
They hate to talk about relationships, but they will come to you for advice. Every. Single. Time.
They love to paint a tough image, but they struggle understanding girls and need advice on how to approach love-related situations.
You’ll become their go-to source of information.
