A romantic relationship usually has two outcomes. Either you break up and go your separate ways, or everything works out and the gods of love have gifted you someone to spend your days with. When again and again, you find yourself having to give up this person, leaving you alone and sometimes hurt, you can be discouraged.

When you have an open heart, you let relationships pan out. You grow close to new people, start developing feelings and even though you get an inkling it might not work out, you give them a sliver of your heart. You give and give, surrendering your vulnerabilities until none are left. You would give anything to make it work.

Your heart is too wide, too eager for attention and compatibility. Finally, after too many trials, your heart has hardened. You’ve realized you’ve got to find a way to grow a guarded heart. Do you start trusting less? Become skeptical of everyone? This way, you’d probably never get far enough invested into anyone to get hurt. But this also seems unfair. You never give anyone the chance to get to know you.

Do you stop seeking out relationships? While I do find that love finds me more often when I’m not looking, how do you train your heart to stop searching for what it wants most? How do you tell it not to beat faster or get expectations? How do you tame a wild heart?

How do you not open yourself up? You have to close yourself off, put up walls, be harder to get to know. You’ll learn patience and maybe this way, only serious contenders will enter your heart.

Maybe you’ll be able to do all of this, and be better for it. Or maybe you’ll be like me, confused as hell and wondering how to shade my heart from all the disappointment and hurt.

I’ve gotten discouraged from dating and I’m not sure how this will change.