In a recent article I’ve written, I throughly talked about my passion for teaching in hopes to one day become an English high school teacher. Another big passion of mine that I’ve kept close to my heart is singing. It’s no secret from my friends and family that I love to sing. I’ve been a music fanatic from a very young age. From belting out Mulan’s, “Reflection” (which are featured in home videos), memorizing all the songs from a Spice Girls album and landing my first solo in my school’s choir, I have always had a pure love for singing my heart out.
Just like most seven-year-olds, singing is usually done for fun and as a child grows older, it develops into more of a hobby. By the time I reached the third grade, I became completely aware that my love for singing and music was a bigger part in my life than I had originally thought. I participated in my school's choir and eventually gained confidence with singing in front of others. Not long into the first year of participating, the option to sing a solo in front of the entire school was something I wanted to take advantage of. Although the experience was terrifying, seven-year-old me was ready to take on more nerve-wracking performances.
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As time went on and middle school arrived, I was ready to take up the guitar and conquer a different aspect of music. I frequently watched covers on YouTube which then lead me to wanting to put up my own videos as well. Given a low-quality webcam, my guitar and a USB microphone, I was on my way to finding myself in the world of music. This continued on until high school until the month of October during my senior year. During all of that time since the seventh grade, I poured out my feelings in writing my own songs, performed in front of my classes, auditioned for the school musical and I even auditioned to be on America's Got Talent. I became dependent on my music as an outlet for expression and I believed I would carry on with music for the rest of my life and also have it be a part of my profession.
Fast forward to the end of my senior year of high school and into now. I haven't completely stopped singing or playing the guitar, but where I stand with my music feels different than it used to compared to three years ago. I've done two open mic performances at Dominican so far and I hope to be able to take part in similar events throughout my college career.
When I think about sitting down and writing music, I sadly feel out of tune with my guitar and notice that I have a low drive for just trying to write a song. It's been more of a struggle to write anything from the heart and translate my experiences onto paper and musically with my guitar. I often think to myself that the problem couldn't be writers block because I write on a weekly basis and get my thoughts down with little struggle. When I'm faced with a pen and paper in front of me, it slightly stings just because it feels like I've grown further apart with my music. It's not that I don't make time and it's not that I'm reluctant. In my eyes, my path has changed and I have prioritized focusing on my music less than I used to. My love for it hasn't changed and I hope to one day to be able to sit down again a get lost in my music.
