Your 20's are a confusing mess. There are so many big changes happening around you, whether it's with college, relationships, career choices or family. The one thing that makes this time somewhat bearable is your friends. You wouldn't be able to survive this time without them by your side. Whether you've been friends for six months or six years, you know exactly who you can count on. But what do you do when the people you've known for so long suddenly seem so disconnected?
I've never been the kind of girl who has a million friends. Not in middle school, not in high school and surely not in college. I have a tight-knit circle that hasn't really grown that much in the past few years. Some of us have lost our way a few times, but we always find our way back to each other. We've always been there for one another and we always say we're going to be. But as we get older, that promise seems less and less likely.
As much as we'd like to think we're the same group of girls that graduated high school together, we couldn't be further from it. This isn't necessarily a bad thing—we've all come a long way (did someone say grow-up?). But instead of growing together, we've grown on our own, watching one another blossom in their own way.
The person I've grown into barely resembles the person I was when we first forged our friendship. I think it's safe to say that none of us do. No one may want to admit it, but if we hadn't known each other for as long as we have, we probably wouldn't all be friends now because of how different we are. This doesn't just apply to my friend group either, it applies to everyone. I mean how many people can accurately say they're the same person they were in high school? If you say you are, you're lying to yourself.
I want to make something clear—there's nothing wrong with growing into a different person. You're allowed—no, encouraged—to do your own thing. That's what growing up is all about, right? It's about discovering who you are when no one else is around. Because that's just it. No one is going to be around forever. I didn't realize how dependent I was on other people until the people I depended on were no longer there. I counted on others to make decisions for me rather than making them on my own. I'm thankful that I recognized this sooner rather than later because it allowed me to become someone who isn't intimidated by the pressures of others.
In a way, we're all still getting reacquainted with one another. We're getting to know one another for the people we've grown to be while still trying to hold onto the people that we were. Sometimes it's amazing to see how far we've all come. It's a great feeling to look back and laugh at how naïve we were and to know that we're so much wiser now. Then sometimes it's frustrating. We want so desperately for things to be like the good old times. And that's exactly what they are—good old times.
If you want your friendship to withstand the test of time, you have to accept that the people around you now aren't the people you once knew. You have to respect the person they've chosen to become, because chances are, they've just done what's best for them.
