College gives us the opportunity to experience lots of new things. Meeting new people, drinking too much alcohol, budgeting time and money, and working in close and prolonged contact with people who may make you want to take your own life, just to name a few. Group projects can be a beautiful thing, working with others as a cohesive unit to accomplish a goal -- how fulfilling. Unfortunately, every group seems to have that one bad apple, and sometimes the whole tree is rotten.
Below, is a profiling of the member archetypes you have likely had the delight of working with, along with how I imagine they will fit into society. post-collegiate life.
The Overbearing One.
The group member who graciously creates the Google Docs and starts all the email threads, but also re-writes your sections on the report and sends out other overly-scrutinized revisions at 2 a.m. Like, why are you doing schoolwork at this hour?
When projected into society, this is the helicopter mom who still walks her kid to class in ninth grade and only keeps wholesome fruit and veggie snacks in the house.
The Mediator.
The group member who does not really contribute many ideas, but will step in to tip the balance or help compromise when there is a disagreement. The default member that every group needs one of, but a whole group of them means you just end up sitting around staring at each other.
One day this group member will work in HR, eat the same type of bagel every morning and, every now and then, surprise someone with an inappropriate sexist joke.
The Busy Beaver.
The member who always has another meeting, interview, project, or class when you are trying to get the group together. You are sure they would contribute great work if they were not already too busy saving the world.
This groupie will be the next Hilary Clinton, but will take too much ridicule from the media, withdraw from the limelight and sustain a happy career as a life-coach or inspirational guest speaker.
The Bad Idea Generator.
This member, bless their heart, always gives it 110 percent. Unfortunately, 100 percent of that is headed in the wrong direction, and some of their pitches make you wonder why they are even taking the class. This member is also frequently responsible for the portion of the paper that invokes that twitch you get when you read too much poor grammar.
This person will, strangely enough, end up in some higher management position where their employees are constantly questioning their decisions, and they overcompensate for this doubt by improperly using big words on conference calls.
The Never Shows Up Guy.
This guy sucks. This guy will probably always suck.
Happy group work everyone!
