People-watching is such a fascinating pastime. I don't care who you are: at some point or other--times when your phone dies on public transportation, or if you're someone who spends your lunch break on a nearby park-bench--you are likely to have at least inadvertently become a people-watcher.
Humans are the most fascinating creature, and simply observing other people's behaviors is a guilty pleasure a lot of us have. It can be entertaining in a humorous way, like watching a person try to wrestle something out of a purse with both hands full with shopping bags. Or it can be dramatic, like bearing witness to a public break-up.
And it's all innocent fun when you're just an observer of people in their natural habitat, but on those occasions where you're forced to interact, or at the very least, mingle among others when you're really not in the mood for it, the idea of having to witness other people's behaviors can be daunting. And there are few places where frustrations will brew about how other people act in public than at a grocery store.
Sure, there are plenty of people who love shopping, but very few people like grocery shopping. It's a chore, much like doing laundry, where you really don't want to do it, but the longer you put it off, the worse your life becomes. In the laundry case, the risk is having to re-wear dirty clothes and worry about whether or not you smell--wondering whether your co-workers are just grumpy that day, or if they can't bear to stand in your musk. In the grocery case, it's a matter of whether or not you feel like starving to death.
So we have to give in, suck it up, step outside our comfort-zones, and fling ourselves into the animal kingdom. It's a matter of survival.
I, personally, try to make my expeditions to the grocery store as seamless as possible. I have my list of what I need. I try my best not to stray away from my list, and I avoid the temptation of the various aisles filled with items I can live without. I go with the plan to rush in, head down, eyes focused on my target. I don't talk to anyone until I get to the check-out aisle. I get in. I get out.
But we all know that the universe likes to stomp on our plans from time to time. For me, that comes in the way of conveniently running out of food, soap, toothpaste, tampons, etc. on a weekend day--usually a holiday weekend--where the store will be overflowing with people who waited until the last second to realize they needed to actually buy meat if they plan to have a barbecue for their entire extended family. And they're angry about it.
So, anyhow, before this turns into an overly long diatribe against the human race as a whole, I would simply like to list out the most obnoxious things I witness on a regular basis at grocery stores.
If you, yourself, commit any of the acts on this list, and previously believed no one even noticed, please know that yes, people notice. So freaking stop it.
If you never have done any of the things on this list, good for you! There are literally dozens of us! Let's band together, and start saying something when we see something, eh?
People leaving perishable items in random places
When I was little and had a tough time finishing my dinner, my dad always used the line about how there are kids starving in Africa, so wasting the food on my plate was an insult to their suffering.
Probably all of us have heard something like that, and sort of blew it off, but the point is pretty solid. When there are people in the world who don't have access to food on a consistent basis, it seems a little inconsiderate to waste food. Even though not throwing it away does nothing to help people half a world a way, it's a least not a metaphorical slap in the face.
When I see people swap out the strawberries for some chocolate, I'm not going to judge their diet choices. I'm a junk food addict, too. But dude, take one minute out of your life to walk the perishable produce back to where you grabbed it from. At least then you can justify your chocolate fix; you exercised a bit harder today by putting stuff back where it belongs!
Eating food that hasn't been paid for and leaving the damned wrappers everywhere, and/or eating produce to "test" it
Maybe it's because I have worked in retail that I get so irritated about this. Nothing pissed me off more than cleaning up at the end of my shift and finding food wrappers jammed behind other items on shelves. Just because you eat stuff while still in the store doesn't mean you're not stealing. If you're that hungry when you're headed to the grocery store, just stop by a fast food joint on the way, get your fix, and then go shopping. They say it's better to not shop on an empty stomach, anyhow.
And even if you do intend to pay for food you eat while you shop, nothing is grosser for a cashier than trying to scan empty candy bar wrappers covered in human saliva.
Also, in regards to eating produce to test its quality: freaking gross. You do realize you're jamming a grape in your mouth with your fingers that have just been grasping an unwashed public shopping cart handle, right? A handle that's likely got traces of blood, vomit, and human (and maybe even animal, idk?) feces on it. And then after you take your hands out of your mouth, you go on to touch other food that people plan on buying. I'm not even a germaphobe, but that's just nasty.
People who are completely oblivious to their surroundings/people who leave carts in the middle of the aisle so no one can pass
I mentioned above that when I go shopping, I do my best to get in and get out in a timely manner. It's not because I'm always in a rush, necessarily, but rather, I realize life is short, and there are about five thousand other things I'd rather be doing than trying to work my way around people who forgot they were in a public place where other people exist.
It's like those groups of girlfriends who just have to walk side-by-side down a walkway, impeding anyone else from getting around them.
Just think of grocery store aisles like lanes on a street. Stay in the right lane. Don't just weave around from side to side, and definitely don't just plop your cart unattended in the middle of an aisle while you wander off five aisles down to grab the pickles you forgot.
I might just start playing shopping cart hide-and-seek with your crap.
People who knock stuff over, or drop things, and just leave it there
Do you walk through your house and knock crap over, and then just leave it on the floor forever? If so, stop going out into public until you learn basic human functions.
If you knock something off of a shelf, simply bend down, pick it up, and put it back. If you've broken a jar/bottle of some sort of liquid, or for some reason are unable to pick up a dropped item, get an employee to help you. It may be embarrassing for you, but that's a much better alternative than allowing someone to potentially slip, trip, or fall and seriously injure themselves because you have too much pride.
People who refuse to supervise their children
I've been getting myself in a lot of trouble lately with my comments about parents who fail at supervising their kids. I'm not a parent, so I couldn't possibly understand how difficult it is to wrangle five kids while attempting to get the shopping done. I get that it is hard to try to find the food items you need while dealing with screaming kids that want every item they've seen in a commercial, but at least try. Nothing irks me more than seeing kids running around in the store with no parent to be seen.
If people can see that you're tearing your hair out trying to multi-task, they will sympathize. If they see you comparing ingredients of gmo vs. non-gmo, gluten-free, no high fructose corn syrup, paraben free, vegan, cruelty-free pop tarts while your crotch goblins are running around three aisles over, you're not going to gain any fans. You made the choice to have kids. It isn't the world's responsibility to be their babysitter.
And finally:
People who ask me if I "work here"...when I'm wearing nothing even remotely similar to the uniform
This happens several times a year for me. I don't know what it is. I have a whole slew of people who regularly tell me that my resting face looks angry or sad, so this certainly doesn't happen because I wear a welcoming smile. And when I'm at Target, where the uniform for every employee is a red shirt with khaki slacks, and I'm wearing my torn up jeans and a death metal T-shirt, I can't understand how this notion occurs to people.
No, I don't freaking work here. You're giving me a complex.
So, all in all, what I have to say in the end can be summarized below:
Feel free to share your annoying grocery store encounters, or really, any annoying public encounters you've had in the comments!
