This past year I have had a unique opportunity to both be a mentee and a mentor. Beyond my professors being great mentors through my courses and thesis research, I have also had a mentor in the work place. Additionally, my older peers at Rutgers have taught me a lot about how to manage time, be reliable and trustworthy, and hold yourself accountable to the people you know and those who you don’t.

The past school year I have been very lucky to hold positions that have challenged me to transform my role from student to teacher. From teaching 25 freshmen to giving advice to younger women rushing through recruitment and then guiding stimulating peer instructors to teach Rutgers courses. Yet in helping others, I have actually learned more about myself. It allows me to reflect on all the skills that I have yet to gain and improve upon. Knowing that I don’t want to give the wrong advice or set a poor example, being a mentor pushes me to be a more fulfilled person, mentally, physically, and even metaphysically.

Although these principles are more extensive than the ones I have listed, these words embody how you can be an effective colleague, but more importantly, a friend:

Rapport

Even if it may seem annoying, I always remind my mentees that I am there to help them work through their concerns and fears. Often, mentees shy away from asking for help because they either don’t want to appear hapless or they suffer slightly from a pride-complex. Therefore, it is important to always show that you are ready to help them. And express that you are not only willing to talk things through but will help in a comforting manner — through patience, kindness and alacrity.

Stimulating

This word is the next level of motivation. When your mentee is tired, unsure, or suffering from a lack of confidence, you want to be their catalyst. Even if you are as uncertain as they are, it is your responsibility to hide your uncertainty. Inciting optimism and encouraging strength will ignite a fire within them that they may have not known they had.

Moxie

Moxie is synonymous with nerve, drive, and determination. In placing yourself in the position of a mentor, you want to help others advance for a particular reason — better grades, more connections, higher self-confidence. But in guiding others, you are also spurred to advance the greater good. The logic follows that if you are giving advice to one, you are progressing your school, your affiliated organization, or your career industry.

Objective

Beyond keeping your mentee on track and challenging them to measure their progress, you are also accountable for testing them to keep an open mind. This standard is one that can be applied in an educational mentor relationship, a career mentor relationship, or even a social one. Do not get caught in the fire of preaching your own opinions, but instead practice speaking in fair terms. Discourage a closed mind and rally relativity and perception.