Dear Death,

Have I got a bone to pick with you. Let me start of by asking, how?

How do you choose your victims? My great grandma, my friend's mom, the boy on the baseball team, my friend's little brother? Is it a game of chance, like the lottery or Russian Roulette? Or does everyone get a date. What decides those dates? How nice of a person you are? If you held the door for someone behind you? Then why do the "good die young?" Why do you take the best people first? We weren't done with them yet. They had so much more to teach us, and so much more to learn themselves. What do you offer? Is it really an escape? But why would anyone want to go? Why would they want to leave their lives and loved ones behind?

This can’t be happening. You can’t do this. You can’t just take the people we love and expect us to let it happen. It’s not right. They’re not in “a better place” because the best place is right here, with us.

What if I give you my life in exchange for theirs? How much will it take for you to give them back? I swear I’ll be a better person, just give them back. I’d sell my soul for one more day. Please. Just bring them all back.

I should have done something. I could have helped. If only I spent more time with them. I should have told her how much I loved her. I should have told him he had the best smile. I should have thanked them for always being so kind to me. It might have made a difference, if only I did something different.

Why do I cry every time I hear sirens? Is it because I know you're not too far behind? Why aren't you far behind? Why do you have to be something most people fear? Why do they deserve this? Why do the living deserve this? Do you like watching people suffer? Because you know, death is only easy for the ones who died. It's everyone else that has to keep on living with it. You dismantle families. Are you proud?

I’m tired of this. I don’t want to go on without them. I can’t breathe since they left. I don’t know how to be me anymore.

Today I stood in a line for two hours to give my condolences to a friend. The kindest boy I have ever known, taken at 17. A horrific tragedy; a damn shame. The line wrapped around the whole funeral home and then continued down the street. It was because of you, Death. You brought everyone together. One community trying to say their last goodbyes to a great young man. I know now that nothing can bring him back, no matter how hard we all wish and pray, but he will live on through us all. We will carry on his legacy.

I just hope I can have that impact before I’m gone.

Sincerely,

A Griever