The definition of grief, at least according to the dictionary is “a multifaceted response to loss, particularly to the loss of someone or something that has died, to which a bond or affection was formed”.
While I agree with definition if feelings could easily be put into words, I believe grief to be so much more.Grief is a constant shadow, always there even when it is not visible. It is when the sun comes out, that grief begins to overwhelm you because how can you picture a life without that person? How can you achieve all of these accomplishments and not be able to share them with the one person who would be the most proud?
Grief is watching an old couple on a TV show and bawling into your boyfriend’s shoulder seconds later.
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Grief is sobbing in the shower after making the travel volleyball team because you were all excited to write letters home only to remember that the one person you want to share the news with is no longer here.
Grief is calling your boyfriend at 1 am because you need someone to talk to, someone who was there through it all for you.
Grief is looking at a half-finished painting that was supposed to be for the deceased and not being able to finish it because you feel as if somehow you failed them.
Grief is a burning throat in the middle of class when a memory drifts across your brain.
Grief is seeing a hummingbird and wondering why there are tears dripping down your face.
Grief is blaming your red eyes on allergies or accidental eye pokes.
It does not matter if you think you have moved on from the past if grief wants to visit it you, it will drop in unannounced and stay for a long period of time uninvited. You can try your best to send grief packing, but it will taunt you from the corner of a dim room like a fearful spider. Just know that it is okay to ask for help, it is okay to tell people you are having a really bad day. They will understand, they will comfort you. You are not alone.
