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The Stages of Grief for Career Fair

We, as Miami students, feel anything and everything during this annual battle.

Sep 13, 2016

If you are a student at Miami University this time of year, you understand that you cannot spend more than 30 minutes on or off campus without hearing the words "career fair" at least once. Your teachers stress it is the "most important event of your Miami career," your friends claim it will be the reason for panic attacks and withdraw from school altogether and your parents will call you fifty times a day to make sure you have "all your ducks in a row" beforehand, but really mean "we're spending a small fortune on you to go to this public Ivy for a liberal arts education, you better get a damn good job." But how are you supposed to feel when the time for the battle of Career Fair comes around?

If you're anything like every other student, you'll get waves of:

Panic

"What do I wear? How do I talk to these professionals? What if I forget my name? Should I lie on my resume?"

Denial

"Actually, I'll be fine. I have an hour before career fair tomorrow, that's when I'll review my resume. Career Fair is really not that big of a deal!"

Hopelessness

"I'm never going to get a job. My resume sucks, my GPA sucks, my life sucks and Miami sucks. I might as well start looking up 'How to be a Hobo' on Wikipedia while my parents are still paying for my wifi, and order a large pizza to eat my sorrows away."

Excitement

"Okay, so this company I really love is coming! It's basically my dream job, so it must totally be meant to be! I'm going to kill it."

Overwhelmed

"I'm right up against another fifty other students, all in the same major as me and in a black blazer as well. Where do I move? How can I stand out? There are so many booths, where do I begin? Is it too early to run away?"

Relieved

"It's over. It's finally over. I have a whole year before I have to endure this emotional roller-coaster again."

Panic... again

"Okay, it's been 24 hours and I still haven't heard from Susie Smith at my dream job. Do they not want me? Was it not meant to be? When will this nightmare end?!"

Overall, Career Fair is nothing to be scared of. It's only a few hours during one single day. Most of all, it's an opportunity to shake what your Momma gave you. So take a deep breath, listen to some empowering Beyonce, and own Career Fair before it owns you. That's how you'll get the job.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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The Stages of Grief for Career Fair

We, as Miami students, feel anything and everything during this annual battle.

Panic

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Panic... again

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Sleepovers are not a thing. They're just not.

1. You only ask things once.

2. Seriously, you only ask once.

3. When you do muster up the courage to ask your parents for something, you creep around and wait until they’re in a good mood.

4. Before you get that final yes, you have to go through an interview.

5. If you ever got “the eye,” you knew you were screwed.

6. You were always the first to leave your group of friends when hanging out.

7. If you say you will be home at a certain time, you better be home at that time.

8. Seeing a missed call from your parents sends fear and horror through your veins.

9. If relatives are coming over to the house, your room better be clean.

10. You are careful about what jokes you share with your parents.

11. "You’re not an adult until you turn 18! You can do whatever you want then!"

12. If plans change while you’re out, you better text or call.

13. Don’t talk back. Ever.

14. When you’re called by your full name, you’re in deep trouble.

15. Don’t make them call your name twice.

16. Sleepovers are not a thing.

17. Despite all of these things, you know your parents love you.

For better or for worse

1. Pets

2. Mornings

3. Mistakes

4. Cooking for yourself

5. Hosting

6. Taking care of yourself

7. Holidays

8. Roommates

9. Keeping focused and getting stuff done

10. Cleaning

11. Social life

No, really. I'm not mad. Just hungry.

1. You’re tired of people asking you if you know what “RBF” stands for every time you zone out.

2. You’re constantly using the excuse, “I’m just tired” when people ask you if you’re mad.

3. Or “I’m just thinking.”

4. In fact, you’re rarely ever actually mad.

5. But when you are, people usually can’t tell.

6. You find other people with RBF’s and have to convince yourself that you don’t look like them.

7. You constantly remind yourself, “At least I’m not a psycho.”

Some of your best ideas come through boredom.

1. If the professor is late by one minute, I'm leaving.

2. Oh crap, that's due TODAY?!

3. Can I nap in here?

4. I wonder what they're serving at the cafeteria.

5. How much does my teacher even get paid?

6. How much will I get paid?

7. This is the longest 50 minutes of my life.

8. Maybe if I call mom, she'll give me money.

9. How much do street performers make anyway?

10. Why am I here? I could be a street performer by now.

11. Oh right, I'm not talented.

The Belchers hold the key to a better life.

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