SPOILERS!!! IF YOU'RE NOT READY GTFO!!!!

Grey's Anatomy. It's the literal definition of emotional rollercoaster. It messes with your emotions like nothing else ever has or probably ever will, and it's without a doubt the highlight of ShondaLand –– Murder and Scandalare beyond amazing, and maybe day they'll catch up, but for the momentGrey's has a lead of about eleven seasons over both. Oddly enough, there are still people in the world who don't watch Grey's. I was one of them until moving in with two of the biggest Shonda supporters I've met to date, but now I can't remember a time before Grey's –– a time before Karev's good heart, or Mark and Lexie's love, a time before I was in love with Jackson Avery, or before Bailey was my queen.

But for anyone who's watched Grey's, you know it's never been an easy ride –– I've cried more tears than I thought possible to cry in one sitting. So here's a quick recap of the best and the worst parts of Grey's –– the love and the hate, the truth and the lies, the life and the death.

The Best: when Derek told Meredith it wasn't just the chase

I hate myself for saying this, but *swoon.* There are few things better than realizing the hot surgeon you had a one-night stand with actually wants to be with you.

The Worst: when we soon after realized that Derek was a complete and total snake

To be perfectly honest, I'm real sick of everyone obsessing over Derek. Because yeah, he's the hot surgeon that loves Meredith but COME ON. He always treated Meredith like trash. From season one when we meet his wife, to shortly after when he gets back together with his wife and then calls Meredith a whore (for literally going on a date with the vet?) all the way to the the whole DC job fiasco. He's just a bad person. There's that nice guy exterior, sure, but when it comes down to it he's to-the-core mean. And I know I said *swoon* just about a hundred words ago, but the fact that he occasionally does freakishly and amazingly adorable things doesn't make him a good person. It makes him manipulative. Derek Shepherd gets a big fat NO from me.

The Best: Mark and Lexie

Everything about them. Just everything. They might've been apart more than they were together, but their love story is still the best of the show. Lexie is an amazing person. Mark is an amazing person. Together, they are so super-humanly amazing with a love so pure and so beautiful that mere mortals like ourselves can't even fully understand it.

The Worst: they're both dead

Before I started watching Grey's, I already knew huge parts of the plot. Spoilers are everywhere, and as someone who wasn't watching the show, I wasn't afraid to read them. But them I became someone who watched the show, and I still knew about the spoilers. So as each one happened, I was shook, but at least I was prepared to be shook. The one thing I didn't know was going to happen, however, was the plane crash. Actually, I knew about the plane crash –– what I didn't know was that Lexie was going to die in the plane crash. And I didn't know that Mark was going to die soon after. Cue the wildest emotional devastation I've ever experienced.

The Best: Christina

Christina has had too many good moments for me to list all of her good moments. Pretty much everything she does is amazing. She's just killing the game. Totally and completely killing it. (Except for when she dated/almost married Burke because he was serious garbage.)

The Worst:Christina Leaves

Honestly, Shonda's never messed with our emotions as seriously as she did with this speech. And more than that, the whole show changed without Christina. Lots of characters die, but every time the show managed to recover. Christina's absence left a hole that's still there seasons later.

The Best: Jackson at April's wedding

Jackson and April's love is almost on Mark and Lexie's level. That's why this speech is so perfect. It's that thing that you really really want to happen but really don't think is going to happen –– and then it happens. It was like an apology from Shonda –– her way of saying sorry for killing all those people that we loved. And it lowkey made up for it. This scene was just that amazing.

The Worst: all those people are still dead

So many beloved characters –– dead & gone. And I'm still just wondering why Arizona's still around.

This has been a brief recap of the highs and the lows of Grey's. I would have gone into further detail, or given more examples, but reliving all the horrible moments was making me tear up. Recounting all the bad times has made me wonder if Shonda Rhimes might be a sociopath. I think that there's some definite evidence to support that theory. I'm going to end this article with a gif of Jackson Avery being cute, just as a quick reminder to all of us of why we're still watching.