The other day, I walked into my local Wal-Mart to pick a few items and, among them, was an anniversary card for my girlfriend. Perhaps it was my fault for thinking that I, as a bi woman dating another woman, would be able to find the perfect card that captures the spirit of our relationship. I should've known that finding an LGBTQ-friendly card would be difficult — I had no idea that it would be impossible.
As I sorted through the cards in the anniversary section of the card aisle, it started to dawn on me how excluded my identity was from something as simple as greeting cards. Every from-me-to-you card was designed for a heterosexual couple, and the only cards that didn't explicitly feature a man and woman either through illustrations or text were made to be given by family or friends of a couple.
I promptly left the disappointing anniversary section and moved to "any occasion," the miscellaneous jumble of "just because" and "friendship" cards. Eventually, I found a simple card that was generic enough to fit the occasion of a bisexual couple's anniversary that basically just says "You're my soul mate! I love you!" I know. So poetic.
I guess that's where I need to look now when I need a card for my girlfriend. Not "anniversary" or "Valentine's Day," because apparently straight couples are the only ones who celebrate those days. You want a queer-friendly card? Just head on over to "any occasion," since that's where all the needs of queer customers have inadvertently been lumped, and you'll be sure to find something SUPER elegant and personal like "you rock" or "thanks for being you."
I know that there are LGBTQ greeting cards available online, even from big companies like Hallmark and American Greetings. But why aren't they available in stores? I can't just go down the street and pick up a card? Instead, I need to plan out my card needs in advance so that I can order a card, pay for shipping, and make sure it gets to me on time. Which, frankly, as an extremely last-minute card shopper (like, "going to CVS at 9 a.m. on Mother's Day" kind of last-minute), just isn't likely to happen.
It doesn't matter to me if these companies are "being inclusive" and making LGBTQ-friendly cards. If they aren't available with the same convenience and accessibility as every other kind of cards, what does it even matter?
Only offering LGBTQ cards online isn't inclusive. It's a way of doing the bare minimum for diversity so that when people call card companies out on excluding queer relationships, they can say, "but we have a great selection online!" Thanks, but I need that card today.
It sounds ridiculously small and stupid, but when you go up and down an aisle of cards and don't see a single one acknowledging your identity, it stings. It reminds you of all the little ways you're erased from existence and excluded from participating in a social practice as mundane as going to a store and picking out a greeting card. I should be able to go to a store and find a nice card for my girlfriend as easily as I do when I need a birthday card for my sister. If you can stock LGBTQ cards online, you can stock them in stores.
It's 2018, y'all. Let's chill with the compulsory heterosexuality.
