I love my university, and I love living on a college campus. However, I do NOT love how almost every conversation between two strangers goes a little like this:
"Hi, I'm Betty!"
"Hi, Betty! I'm Sue!"
"Nice to meet you, Sue! Are you in a house?"
If I would've heard this conversation two years ago, I would've thought Betty was asking Sue if she was renting an on-campus house. Now, it is crystal clear to me what "in a house" means: being in a fraternity or a sorority.
As a freshman with low-self esteem and a social life that was - for lack of a better term, lacking - I thought joining a sorority would boost my confidence through the roof.
And, after accepting a bid, it did. For a while.
When I am out with my sisters, certain people approach us, and certain people avoid us. When I wear my letters, people ask me about my house. When I mention the name of my sorority, people's demeanor changes. And for a while, I loved that.
Now, I hate it.
I absolutely, positively, DO NOT hate my sisters. Quite the opposite--I love them and am so thankful for each and every one of them. What I hate is the idea that, for so many people, the letters in my bio or across my chest are the end-all-be-all when it comes to defining who I am.
There are stereotypes of each Greek organization on campus. I hate how so many of us are so accustomed to the stereotypes that we skip the whole "getting to know people" phase and instead try to squeeze them into a tiny box of who they "most likely" are based on their Greek affiliation. I hate how so many of us avoid those in other houses because we feel "awkward" making conversation with them. I hate how we have to hashtag #panhel every time we post pictures with people in other houses.
The thing is, and I hate to admit it, I do this too. I think almost all of us do to some degree. It's almost like it's part of campus culture to write people off as their house stereotype instead of getting to truly know them with a clean slate.
What if we stopped viewing people as their house, and started viewing them as individuals? What if we stopped assuming we have nothing in common with those in other houses just because of their stereotypes? What if we got to know each other because we seem to click, and not because we want to be associated with the same Greek house?
I did not pick my sorority because of its stereotypes. I didn't pick my sorority because the girls were pretty or the house was nice or because it's the where the cutest boys hang out. I picked my sorority because I felt like I truly connected with and had meaningful conversations with the women in the house.
After joining my house, I found so much love and acceptance. I found inspiration. I found strength. I found coffee dates, study buddies, shoulders to cry on, and simply people to laugh with.
Joining a sorority wasn't all glitz and glam. It was taking off all of the masks and be completely vulnerable...and being loved just the same.
Joining my sorority meant gaining soul-deep bonds I always yearned for, sisters I never had, and a home away from home.
Everyone deserves to find these things. And, in truth, not every person will find this in the exact same setting. Why don't we start to realize that that's okay? Why don't we encourage people to join the group where they feel loved and accepted, instead of the group that will make them seem the coolest? Why do we stereotype houses negatively when those same houses are where so many people meet their lifelong best friends?
It wasn't the sorority in and of itself that helped me become who I am today. The women I met through joining my Greek organization are who deserve the credit for helping me grow. The letters didn't give me confidence; the people did.
Don't define me by my sorority. Get to know my character.
