Let me preface with this: I am a single woman.
With that being said, there is something that has been brought to my attention that needs to be talked about. When people decide they are in love and everything else that entails, they read to each other, "I, ___, take you, ___, for my lawful wife/husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and health, until death do us part." Along with, "I, ___, take you, ___, to be my husband/wife." Even though these two statements imply that through everything, the two people reading these vows will stick together until death, divorce rates are high.
This is a sad and unfortunate fact. In the United States, it has become so easy and acceptable for two people to depart after promising to take care of one another in all circumstances. According to the American Psychology Association, 40 to 50 percent of all marriages in the United States end in divorce. Wow. That is way too large of a number considering the mass amount of people that get married. The commitment no longer means the same if the norm is to eventually break it.
As previously prefaced, I am a single woman. This means that I have not been married, I do not know what it's like to be married and I definitely do not know what it's like to have kids in a marriage. What I do know is this: the hurt that surrounds divorce is greater than the problem it "solves." As an outside party, I am able to witness all of the confusion and trouble that comes with a divorce. I've seen spouses get torn apart by the other claiming they no longer love them. I've seen children question the existence of God and their own importance because of this exact issue. I have seen families be completely lost at what to do next and where to go from this point. This all breaks my heart!
Many married people think they will be better off without the other, maybe they are right. Many married people think they will take better care of their kids without the other, maybe they are right. Many married people also think that they should wait to get divorced when their kids move out, maybe they are right. The only thing I find wrong with all of these scenarios is that they all end in divorce. Maybe divorce is not the answer.
Many married people want to turn to divorce as a solution to their problems and I whole-heartedly disagree with them. The reason I disagree with them is simple, God never divorced us.
I think we have a personal example of the perfect spouse. The only perfect spouse is God. God married the worst bride he could have ever picked. He chose to marry the human race and yet, he never divorces us. We kick and we scream, we lie and we cheat, we hurt and we don't apologize. We are the absolute worst, honestly.
But, God keeps us through it all. Everything includes sickness and health, worse and better, richer and poorer. Through it all, He is there. He continues to amaze us with His great devotion to loving us. He loves us with all He has, treats us as though we did nothing wrong, holds us in His arms, and unconditionally gives us grace. And this is the example He sets for us in how we should treat our spouse.
We should be loving our spouses unconditionally, and when we can't, looking to Him for help in the process. We should be giving our spouses unlimited amounts of grace, and expecting nothing in return. We should be using God as an example of how we are to treat our spouses. We should not run from the problem in divorce, because that would be easy. Instead, we should be looking for counsel from the greatest spouse that ever did exist.
This is exactly what I want to happen when I or if I get married. I want us to have God as our example and show each other a little more of Christ in our everyday lives, expecting nothing in return. I want to love and to hold in sickness and health and for richer or poorer. And most importantly, for better and for worse. May the selfish desires we hold not mask the task we have to love each other in all times, unconditionally.
That is my prayer for you and your spouse/future spouse also. Love each other in reflection of the perfect example God has set for the worst bride!
I'm just going to leave this here:
1 Corinthians 13:4-7
"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is now rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres."
