Without even a hint of an idea what the hell he was talking about, Facebook friend Travis Dawson reported on Wednesday that this article was "a good one" without reading past the headline. Here is a complete transcript of Dawson's comment:

"Nice read, Tucker! A good one, for sure!"

The nerve of some people. It was not apparent whether Dawson realized that he was the subject of the article, despite his picture appearing as the article's cover photo and the name "Travis Dawson" being mentioned in multiple places. But that's when things got interesting. Barely five minutes after Dawson's foolish comment, another comment was made by an equally dimwitted Facebook friend, Paul Johnson:

"hey travis, u big stupid jerk,, make sure you read the article next tiem!!! its not good!"

Though Johnson obviously had a better concept of the quality of the article, he also seemed to never get past the headline. He later claimed that the article had "some intersting stuff" to say about current political figures like President Trump, when in reality the article never revealed the author's opinions about that terrible, terrible man.

Things got even more heated when a third Facebook friend, EZ Cool-J, joined in. Cool-J's comment proved that not only did he read the entire article, but it also helped him "get woke." Here's his message:

"dudes dont you see? we all in this article rn. travis, you in this article. paul, you in this article. me, im in this article. read the whole thing, though, im towards the bottom. you see it? in fact, as i type this comment, its showin up on the article. whas goin on with that? man, this author help me get woke."

For some reason, this prompted a string of anti-Muslim comments from Johnson, who claimed that this article is, in fact, "a inside job by alk hida!!!" Johnson's comments were reported and nobody has heard from him in thirty years.

At press time, Dawson was considering sharing the article to spread its good message, claiming that "The concluding paragraph really tied things together nicely, and didn't leave me wondering what I had just read."