Thoughts On Women's Underwear: Granny or GTFO | The Odyssey Online
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Thoughts On Women's Underwear: Granny or GTFO

Burn your thongs

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Thoughts On Women's Underwear: Granny or GTFO
Mildada Vigerova

As a pre-teen, I couldn’t wait to get the hell out of my cotton underwear and into something “sexy” to go with that hot trainer bra. I was practically an adult and I wanted to make sure my undergarments matched. I left my “flower power” panties behind and slapped on some Victoria’s Secret lace.

Maybe it is because I am at the old age of 22, I haven’t been in a serious relationship for about a year now, or maybe it was my summer on the organic farm, but I have found the errors of my ways. No more cheap, barely comfortable, pseudo-underwear. I am all about that cotton bikini.

The New York Times cites that “Sales of thongs decreased 7 percent over the last year, while sales of fuller styles — briefs, boy shorts, and high-waist briefs — have grown a collective 17 percent,” in 2015. Thongs have had their time, but they should make way for their fuller-bottomed sisters.

Now there is nothing wrong with a red thong when you’re about to hit the town, but even then, what is even the point? You have hooked a guy, you’re about to seal the deal, and he isn’t about to walk out if you have a pair of Hanes on instead of something sexier. Does he even know the difference? You bet your bottom dollar he doesn’t. Honestly, we believe we are catering to this male gaze, when really, I don’t even think they care. They just want to take it off. So, save your money and drop the synthetics and lace.

And, yeah, sometimes you throw on that black silk number for yourself, but maybe it is time to slip into something healthier and more comfy for yourself too.

Cotton and comfortable don't have to be completely unpleasant to look at. Take the new craze of Calvin Klein Sports bras and bikini sets. That sh*t is all over the internet and actually really sexual. These ads prove that bikini bottoms do not have to be unappealing and for your grandmother. If Kylie can do it, so can you.

To break off of the cotton for a second, but to stay with the idea of bikini, I have recently fallen in love with Exofficio. I recently did some research for future travel and found that people were raving about the brand. Well, I invested in a pair of their simple bottoms, and I did not know underwear could be this comfortable. Although they are not cotton, they are made to be just as good for you as cotton, but to dry faster and keep moisture away more than cotton.

As our tastes turn from super sexy to androgynist undergarments, like the simple bralette, I believe deciding on health and comfortability will exceed 7 for $27 of shitty lace that you will inevitably shove your thumb through. It all comes down to options, though. If that black thong is calling your name, then pull that lace up proudly, but know that if you want granny panties today, that’s okay too. You’re the only one who has to wear them, so be happy with whatcha got.
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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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