We all have that one family member who goes above and beyond to torture us. They are a bit extreme, like to pull pranks, and cannot be serious for more than five seconds. In my family, that person just happens to be my grandfather, also known as, "Pappy."
Before I get into his shenanigans, let me give you a little back story on the old man. He is almost 78 years old, born and raised in south eastern Kentucky, to a rather large, somewhat poor family. He has had several careers, ranging from fireman, to driving a garbage truck, grave digger, to his current job, cemetery caretaker.
He was also married to the love his life, my grandma, for 53 years. She was the only person who could reign him in and control the douchebagery that you will soon read about. Sadly, she passed away around six months ago, and his shenanigans have went downhill from there.
Snake Surprise
Over the summer, in our family doctor's office parking lot, Pappy happened to walk up on a Copperhead slithering its way toward the door. Thankfully, being the handyman he is, he was carrying a shovel in the back of his truck. He took care of the legless demon before anyone was hurt. This is not where the story ends though. Being the prankster that he is, he loaded Mr. Dead Snake up in the back of the truck and decided to show off his kill. And by kill, I mean the interesting stick he found. Needless to say, he scared the holy crap out of a few people with the dead snake, including his nephew and someone at the local hardware store.
"A Skunk Peed In My Eye"
Throwback to when the old man was in elementary school, the day was over and the children were going home. All of a sudden my grandpa catches a skunk, and of course, his classmates tell the teacher. As she comes out of the schoolhouse screaming for him to put it down, Pappy let's the skunk's front paws touch the ground. Big mistake. At that moment, Mr. Skunk sprayed directly into his eye. Showing no sympathy, the teacher immediately sent him home.
Pet Squirrel
You may think he has bad luck with animals but in all reality, he's like the animal whisperer. So much so that he has a wild squirrel basically trained to come into his house for food, almost everyday. He started out by leaving nuts on the porch, talking to the squirrel, and making it comfortable. Before we knew it, the squirrel was literally knocking on the front door when it wanted food. Now, he comes when Pappy leaves the door cracked and takes the nuts off of the rug and then scurries off until he's ready for more.
Polling Place Problems
My little sister and I finally figured out his games and decided to give him a taste of his own medicine. During one of our local primaries, Pappy voted before and, naturally, set us up to get messed with. He told the guys working the polls not to let us vote, not matter what we said, but being Political Science majors, my sister and I had enough come backs to end that. After voting, I made a quick phone call to my wonderful grandfather and let him know that my poor, innocent sister had been arrested after being told she was not allowed to vote. Hilariously, he had just pulled into his driveway, and immediately decided he needed to come rescue us at the courthouse. For the first time in my twenty-five years, i saw his own prank backfire, and get turned on him.
