A Letter to my Grandma in Heaven,

First off, I hope you know how much you are missed here. It’s almost been a year since you’ve gone and we still miss you like crazy. I hope you know how much you positively impacted us, not only then, but now as well. There is not a day where I don’t think about the amount of strength and happiness that you always portrayed, even in the midst of your struggles. I am writing to you because I need to do a few things for me. It’s quite selfish of me to rely on you when you’re busy walking the sandy beaches up there in heaven, but I have a few favors.

Please Watch Over Grandpa

You and Grandpa did everything together, so I’m sure you realize how lost he is at times. He was there for you, always. You and grandpa did everything together: you both cared for one another, you both showed unconditional love no matter what was going on in your lives, you traveled together and made so many wonderful memories, you started a business together, and you raised a family together. Seeing Grandpa after you had passed was one of the hardest things I have ever had to witness. You were his best friend; actually you still are his best friend. I know you’re beside him everyday, but would you watch over him for me too? Please give Grandpa the courage to wake up everyday with a smile on his face, despite the lingering fact that you’re not there to wake up beside him. Show him that life still has so much to offer. Give him a perfect windy day so he can go out to the Harbor to sail. Give him a sunny day to go to the beach and have a beer, or two. Give him a rainy day to stay inside and do crosswords and maybe even watch Rainman. I know I don’t have to tell you this, but never leave his side. He misses you so much.

Please Watch Over Auntie

You and Auntie were close. On your good days and even more so, on your bad days, she was always there for you. She was always a phone call away, minutes from your house, and someone you could rely on 24/7. However, perhaps during your times of need, you didn’t realize how much she too, relied on you. You and Auntie were close, best friends even. The amount of happiness that you each poured into each other’s lives continues even though you’re gone. Give her the strength to get through each and everyday to get through troubled times, even without you. Never let her forget how much you loved her. Everyday, she is reminded that you are still with her. Whether it’s a sunny day, an old picture resurfacing, or maybe a memory coming into mind, she thinks about you often. You impacted her life in so many positive ways that she still looks for you in her everyday life. She misses you so much.

Please Watch Over Dad

Although your relationship with my dad wasn’t the strongest at times, I know you both loved each other very much. Dad didn’t reach out to you very often, and oftentimes it was a one-way street, but you never stopped trying to put in the effort to strengthen your relationship. When we were celebrating your wonderful life, Dad was extremely upset. I know he was upset because you passed away, but deep down, I think he was more upset that he didn’t’ put in enough effort to keep in touch with you while you were still here. He has a problem with communication, we all know it, but you never blamed him for that, and I don’t think he should blame himself either. Please give him the courage to get through the days in which he misses you. He misses you so much.

Please Watch Over Your Sister

There were so many times when I would come to visit and we would all spend time together. We spent a lot of time laughing together and I remember hearing so many stories about your childhood together. Please realize how much she misses you and how hard it must be for her without her sister, her best friend. I have talked to her on and off since you have passed away, and I know how hard it is for her, how hard it is for all of us. She was always there for you and you were always there for her. I’m sure certain days are harder for her than others, because suddenly you’re not just a phone call away anymore. Please give her the strength to get through each day but reassure her that you’re always by her side. She misses you so much.

Please Watch Over Your Grandchildren

My sister and I, along with some of our other cousins had the wonderful blessing of being able to spend time with you growing up. All of my favorite memories involve all the trips to Florida, spent with you and Grandpa. You had a way of making us feel so welcome. You and Grandpa spent time with us and always made sure we were having fun while we were there. While amusement parks and the beach were always a great time, all we cared about was spending time with you. Even when you were hundreds of miles away from us, you still had the ability to make us happy when we were struggling with different things in our life. When you passed away, it crushed us. We knew your time would come eventually, but I don’t think we ever realized how hard it would be to live life without you. However, knowing you, you always encouraged us to do our best despite what was happening in life, and you would want us to be happy. Please give us the courage to live up to the potential that you saw in us. We all miss you so much.

Please Watch Over Your Friends

By now, you should realize how much of an impact that you left not only on your family, but also on your friends. You were a great person, someone who was always there for everyone else when he or she needed someone to be there for him or her. You were a great listener and always offered advice to fix the problems at hand. More importantly, you were a great friend. At your celebration of life ceremony, I had so many people come up to me to tell me how much they appreciated your friendship. Your neighbor, one of your best friends, was one of the many people that came up to me during your ceremony, and I could tell right away how much she already missed you. But of course, that shouldn’t surprise you. She loved you and cherished your friendship. When you passed, she was a great friend to me too. She listened to me when I was so confused as to why you were taken from us. Talking to her was like a part of me was talking to you. I see why you were both such good friends. You both listened and always had amazing advice, something that I treasured from the both of you. Please give her the strength to get through her tough days, without your advice and friendship. She misses you so much.

Please Watch Over Your Doggie

Oh gosh, your best friend. You saved him, and in ways, I’m sure he saved you. When I would come to visit, he was glued to your every move. He trusted you, like so many of us. He was your pal, your walking partner, and the scared little pup that would bark if we came to close to you. He learned to get over that of course. Although Grandpa is now taking good care of him, dogs aren’t stupid and they know when someone good goes missing. He’s missing you, I’m sure. But you’re always around, I’m sure he’s sitting on the floor just waiting for you to throw the tennis ball one more time. Your doggie misses you.

Please Watch Over Me

I know, I am considered one of your grandchildren, but I have been struggling more so lately, without you here. Lately, I can’t help but think of everything that I miss about you. I miss your smile. I miss your laugh. I miss our snail mail back and forth to each other. I miss your advice. I miss your hugs. I miss going on different adventures with you. I miss our long phone conversations. I miss watching the Wheel of Fortune with you, and maybe even Jeopardy. I miss our walks with the dog at the park. I miss our beach days. I miss the days spent at the bar, eating pickles, and drinking orange soda. I miss sleepovers at your house. I miss reading. I miss everything about you. One of the things that I cherished the most after your passing is hearing how much I was like you. I can’t say I’ve ever received a better compliment, it’s something I remind myself of when I’m having an off day. Please, continue to watch over me, and give me the courage to live everyday with the happiness and strength that you always portrayed. I miss you so much.

I want you to know how much you’re missed, and how much you’ll continue to be missed. I know this is all a lot to ask for, but I know you, and you always did everything you could to make sure that everyone around you was always happy. It’s almost been a year since you’ve gone, but it feels just like yesterday. There is not a day when you’re not in someone’s thoughts. Grandpa thinks of you, Auntie thinks of you, Dad thinks of you, your sister thinks of you, your grandchildren think of you, your friends think of you, and your doggie thinks of you. You’re too important to ever be forgotten. I hope you’re having a good time in heaven; you deserve to be happy, wherever you may be.

I’ll love you, always.

Miss you chickie.