If you watched "SpongeBob Squarepants" as a kid (or an adult, I get it) then you know "Raisin Grandma." You also know that this little rolling fish skeleton is not to be messed with. Raisin Grandma was introduced in Season 2 of the hit Nickelodeon show, back when SpongeBob Squarepants was actually worth watching. (If Granny Raisin were to appear in the new Spongebob episodes, she would straight up murder every single character.)
This shriveled old fish from our childhood was an absolute badass and I am here to say that 15 years later, Raisin Granny is still the most savage Grandma ever.
1. She yells about how there is too much yelling even though she's 90% deaf.
Gran Gran literally doesn’t even have ears yet she continues to force her daughter Mary to scream words in her direction. Maybe she can hear out of the holes that used to be her eyes and if that’s the case, she can hear everything.
2. She calls out her daughter for wanting her to die.
3. She openly hates chocolate but buys it anyway just to spite Mary.
Raisin Grandma looks like she really enjoys the fact that she has always hated eating chocolate and is not afraid to throw it in peoples face. Honestly, she looks like she’s never eaten anything in her life.
4. Even though she can move her wheelchair around the house without arms, she still forces her daughter to rub chocolate all over her body.
I’ll never know how she does it, but I know darn well if she can roll her whole wheelchair around with her mind then she can rub a small chocolate bar on that little twig she calls a body.
5. She (obviously) refuses to die.
Oh, yeah, that whole rubbing chocolate on her body thing? Yeah, that chocolate is supposed to “make her live forever.” I am almost positive she is just trying to outlive Mary, which is the most savage move a mother can pull.
6. She can get a date with a guy who is AT LEAST 50 years younger than her.
Not just any younger guy, a rich chocolate entrepreneur.
I don't care what anyone says, this old fish stick is my spirit animal.
