As I enter into senior year of college, I've grown confident with who I've become, fallen in love with the people that surround me on the daily, and have finally begun to pursue what I'm passionate about. However, with my next phase of life on the horizon, I have begun to start planning for what is beyond this stage of life.
Accordingly, the past six months, I've truly struggled with what I've been feeling in regards to my future -- torn between tricking myself into believing that the place and person I've built for myself will disappear once I leave Auburn and accepting that the adventure that awaits me beyond undergrad will bring with it so much more growth and prosperity than I can imagine.
I hit points last semester where I questioned why life is so unfair. Why does everything "coincidentally" change once everything FINALLY becomes comfortable? Why do some people leave and some people go? Why do the decisions that have been laid out in front of me make me feel as if I have the world on my shoulders? Why do I freak myself out and convince myself that I am incapable of the things I envision for myself?
But here's the truth I've come to realize: The way things change and when it happens is just how life works, and the best way to maneuver through the decisions that bring so much doubt is to prepare well for what's next by taking action to become informed about all of your different options. And by taking the time and steps to explore your options (in my case, this has been visiting physical therapy school programs), you begin to come to terms with the fact that what you are doing is all that you can do in that moment -- and as a result, you are coming to understand and acquire knowledge that you did not know beforehand.
After visiting a couple of different programs across Virginia and D.C., I've come to know what I like and what I don't. I've discovered the things that are possible by hearing it from other people, and the places I'd like to end up have come to life and gotten me more excited by experiencing them in person.
I'm still uncertain. Uncertain of what lies ahead and where I'll end up. But I'm more at peace than I was before this summer.
I have options. And most importantly, I have people that will support me through all of this.
Knowing that much gets me through when little slivers of worry sneak its way into my system.
I will eventually discover what is right and what is wrong, but through this journey, I want to make it a point to live in the now and not worry about what is unknown.
That's what I've learned through all of this -- that no matter what, everything eventually works out, but that in loving and living well in the meantime are what we should concentrate on -- because that is something we can control.
And so, the quality of life is so much better when we just give into what it brings us, as we continue to pursue the bigger picture.
